


Finley Reid

by Idontknowguys



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: ADHD, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexuality, Depression, Dilaudid, F/F, Father-Daughter Relationship, Finley Reid, Hurt Spencer Reid, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Music, Other, Parent Spencer Reid, Parental Spencer Reid, Reid has a kid, Reid's daughter, Sad Spencer Reid, Spencer Reid Whump, Spencer Reid daughter, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2021-02-11
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 34,457
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25938598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idontknowguys/pseuds/Idontknowguys
Summary: Finley is the genius daughter of Spencer Reid that he's kept secret from the team for the past fifteen years thanks to her IQ of 200. She was the result of the field goal incident back in Reid's high school days, and she stayed with him through everything since she was dumped with him when he was twelve. Finley's life certainly hasn't been easy. One of her best friends committed suicide when she was younger, she found out her mother was a r@pist, and she lost Emily Prentiss (Emily and JJ are the only BAU members she knows and she was crushed when Emily 'died'). But what happens when Finn finds out Henry's being bullied in school and decides to help him with the talent show, thereby exposing her existence to the team? What happens when she starts to bond with all of them? What happens when her and her dad find out Emily is actually still alive and troubling memories are brought up?
Relationships: Aaron Hotchner & Spencer Reid, Derek Morgan & Spencer Reid, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/William LaMontagne Jr., Penelope Garcia & Spencer Reid
Comments: 74
Kudos: 114





	1. Talent Show

TW: Language

Finley P.O.V

It’s exactly four seconds past six PM when I slip in the doors of the school’s amphitheater to see Henry stumbling pitifully through ‘Sweet Caroline’. The ten year old is stuttering through the lyrics, practically whispering into the mic as his brown eyes fill with tears behind his blonde bangs and my heart falls to my stomach as I realize I messed up.

You see, Henry, unbeknownst to his parents or his godfather (My father Spencer Reid) has been getting bullied at school by a group of young boys, but namely a little turd named Jason. They’ve been picking on him because his mother, JJ, is never around as she works at the BAU section of the FBI with my father so Henry’s father Will has to bring Henry to everything. Apparently the little boys have taken this to mean Henry’s dad is gay and decided that’s a good reason to torment the little kid.

I met Henry when he was first born in the hospital when I was five, and he’s the only reason I know JJ, Will, and Emily personally. Or, knew Emily, she died in the field last year.

See, my dad isn’t a normal person. He has an IQ of 18, an eidetic memory, can read 20,000 words per minute, has three BA’s, and three PhD’s. We haven’t talked about it much, but I know he has a little bit of autism and he’s terrified of getting schizophrenia like my grandmother Diana has.

My full name is Finley Diana Reid, and I was born on October 31st, 1993 when my dad was only twelve years old. He thinks I don’t know how that happened, and gave me some bullshit story about how he was an idiot as a teenager and fell in love, but I know that’s a lie. Growing up around a federal profiler for the FBI, you learn a few things, namely how to snoop, and with that I learned the true reason I came about. Which has to do with a horrible eighteen year old girl taking advantage of my dad in his last year of highschool. 

It also doesn’t hurt in the snooping-on-my-dad department that I have an IQ of 200, can read 25,000 words per minute, and a photographic memory. 

Finding out my birth mother is a rapist isn’t the best thing in the world, but it surprisingly didn’t mess me up more than I already am. You see, my dad’s been through a lot in his 27 years of life, and so have I. He took care of his mom and me at the same time until he turns eighteen where he could apply for legal custody of me and put his mom in a special medical facility. I know he writes to her everyday and misses her, but I think he’s scared to go actually see her in person, and to be honest, so am I. She wasn’t the nicest person during her ‘episodes’ as my dad called them, especially after his dad left.

Dad took me with him to college when he was thirteen so I grew up surrounded by professors, and for a while, life was nice and dandy, until my intelligence started showing and I met Isabel (Issie) and Mary.

With my intelligence as high as it already was when I was seven and with dad searching to find us an apartment as he signed up to go risk his life daily in the FBI, it’s no surprise I developed a pretty decent amount of anxiety. For a while things were good, I had friends who helped take the edge off, along with an awesome dad, so I was okay.

But then Dad started getting into harm's way more and more on the field and I got more and more worried. Luckily I was able to hide it from him, but that didn’t stop me from jumping to grab the phone whenever he was off on a case.

We both agreed his team at the BAU shouldn’t know about me, and to this day only Emily, Will, and JJ know. We decided this was best, well really Dad decided this is best because of a few reasons. He doesn’t want criminals targeting me (he has a lot of enemies), and he doesn’t want me to see all the horrifying gory stuff at his work. Of course, that’s just what he says despite knowing that I always look at his case files he brings home while his back is turned, and also being aware of how strong I am after taking MMA lessons for the past ten years of my life. I know his real reason is that he thinks the FBI will recruit me, and he’s terrified that I’ll say yes.

In one certain case of his when he was twenty three,he got kidnapped, and it’s JJ who had to call and tell me that they were watching him get tortured by a guy with DID who kept injecting him with drugs. Ten year old me then went to stay with Isabel, but I practically tackled my dad as soon as he got home. Unfortunately, he got addicted to the drugs he got injected with, a certain drug by the name of Dilaudid, and kept using it after his capture. I, after finding out about this when I found the bottles in his room and realizing none of his coworkers had asked him why he seemed to agitated recently, lost my ever loving mind and dragged him to an addicts meeting the very same day which thankfully helped him quit.

Of course, Dad and I are used to helping each other out with stuff like that. With our combined intelligence, genetic chance for schizophrenia, and my ADHD, it’s a miracle we’re still alive. Nevertheless things were okay after that, until I turned twelve.

The year I turned twelve Mary committed suicide for reasons I still don’t understand. It may have been because Isabel, her, and I were always being bullied thanks to Issie and me being pretty dang smart (Issie isn’t a certified genius, but she has an IQ of 150 and is still damn good enough to be going into her last year of high school next year), but that never bothered Issie and I. I guess it bothered Mary though because in a single night in November she was gone.

Mary’s death hit me and Issie hard, and we both handled it in our own twisted ways. Issie started starving herself while I developed chronic depression and started sleeping a lot more, eating a lot less, and eventually self harming. When my dad found out about both of us, and we found out about each other, we all made a pact to help the other two get better, and we have so far.

And we’ve been doing pretty well. I had a pretty bad relapse last year when JJ told Spencer and I that Emily died. He resorted to barely ever sleeping and crying a lot, while I resulted in self harm again and eventually trying to throw myself off the roof of our building. Thankfully he found me, and we made another pact to help ourselves get over our grief while I was on suicide watch by Issie for three months.

I met JJ and Will when they made Dad Henry’s godfather, and to say they were shocked I existed is an understatement. I look enough like Dad with my wavy brown hair cut at the bottom of my neck in a messy bob-like hairstyle, my pale skin, and my tall frame. But that’s where the similarities stop. Whoever my birth mother is, I have a feeling she’s Italian thanks to how easily I tan in the sun and my bright blue eyes. I’m tall, yes, but I’m not super skinny and lanky like Dad. I’m 5’7, but defined muscles stand out on my arms, stomach, and legs, along with some slight curves. However all of this is usually covered up by flannels, oversized band t-shirts, doc martens, and ripped jeans.

Let me rephrase that, I’m bisexual.

Yup, my dad didn’t only get a depressed genius for a daughter, he also got a bisexual.

Dad doesn’t care though, he’s chill like that. Plus he came out to me as bi the day I told him I’m gay and we were both still for a moment before laughing and watching Love, Simon on the couch.

I met Emily by accident when I popped up at JJ’s house one day to ask if she had any coffee and she had been even more surprised than JJ to meet me. However, I immediately took a liking to her once realizing we shared the same fashion sense, and that she was a bisexual too. Which is why it crushed me when she died.

I snap myself out of it at the sound of Henry sniffle, and I turn my head towards Issie next to me.

My best friend’s brown eyes connect with me as she tucks a black curl behind her ear and her olive skin stretches into a grin at the look on my face. She then fixes the large black belt on top of her high waisted jeans before furrowing her eyebrows at me. “What’re you planning?”

I get distracted for a second at the sound of Jason whispering ‘He’s so lame’ to a little boy next to him, but quickly turn back to the stage as Henry runs off crying.

“Ah shit,” I say, staring at the little boy running away from the crowd before focusing my eyes on Issie. “Issie, can you do me a big favor? Can you get them to play that Big Sean song? Please?”

“Um, yeah,” Issie looks confused for a second, before a determined expression replaces it.

“You’re the best,” I breathe.

She winked at me. “I know.” She fixes the collar of my flannel before rushing off. I, meanwhile, sprint over to the side doors of the stage, ignoring the pointed looks at my back that I no doubt get from dad, Will, and JJ.

I kneel don in front of the sobbing Henry, ignoring the teacher on the stage introducing the next kid as I pry his hands away from his face.

“Henry! Henry, hey kiddo--” I say.

“Finnie where were you?” Henry sobs, and I cringe at the memory of the depressive episode that got me stuck in bed before Issie jammed my meds down my throat because I forgot to take them.

I wave off the question. “I can explain later, alright? It’s been a crazy day. But right now, kid?” I place my hands on his shoulders and force him to look me in the eyes. “We’re going right back out there.”

Henry’s tears are starting to dry but he still waves his hands around worriedly. “Finnie the rules are--”

“Screw the rules,” I say, pressing my forehead against his so he starts giggling. “We’re gonna go out there, and we’re gonna go sing that Big Sean song we’ve been practicing for a week to that group of assholes in the front row.”

“Wait, wait we are?” he asks, getting more excited by the minute.

A smile starts to form on my face without my consent as he places his hands over mine. “Yeah! Yeah, Issie’s working on it, okay? Just--” At that moment, the intro to the song starts playing and I give Henry an urgent look as he starts beaming. “Shit! That’s our cue. Come on, come on!”

We rush onto the stage, ignoring the gasps from the audience as I hand Henry the mic before rushing the stand off the stage and immediately sprinting back right as the words start.

The little boy gets into a stand with his feet shoulder width apart, one hand on the mic holding it to his mouth and his other hand pointing to Jason in the audience. “Jason, this is for you.” He then takes a deep breath before doing a little hop in place as the beat drops. “I don’t - fuck with - you!” 

I give a dramatic gasp, turning my head towards him and adjusting the half assed tie around my black collared shirt under the flannel. Try as I might, I can’t see any of the faces in the audience past the blinding lights so I have no idea how pissed off JJ, Will, and Dad are. However, I roll with it as Henry starts dancing.

“You little stupid-ass bitch, I ain’t fuckin’ with you!” He sings, glancing at me with a grin as I keep my shocked expression on before we both glance at Jason who seems shocked. 

“What,” I whisper-sing just loud enough for the mic to be heard.

Henry continues, looking adorable in his sweater vest, bow tie, and khakis. “You lil, You lil dumb-ass bitch I ain’t fucking with you!” On the last word he points at Jason before going to dance behind me. “I got a million trillion things I'd rather fuckin' do,” he sings, popping his head our from behind me to the right as I lean to the left in perfect sync. 

“Alright, fuck it,” I say as he goes to stand next to me, giving me a huge grin. “This is what we’re doing? Alright.”

“Than to be fuckin with you,” Henry continues, going to do our quick fist-bump hand-slide handshake. “Lil stupid ass,” he starts, and as soon as he says the next line we both do a little jump and start whipp-neigh-neighing to the beat. “I don’t give a fuck, I don’t give a fuck.” We jump and start to do a twisted version of the macarena that ends with throwing a hand in the air as he continues. “I don't I don't I don't give a fuck. Bitch, I don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do.” We switch and start whip neigh-neighing on the other side. “Don't give a fuck about you or anything that you do. I heard you got a new man, I see you takin' a pic.” I start bouncing next to him, knowing full well I look like an idiot but finding it worth it. “Then you post it up, thinkin' that it's makin' me sick, brr, brr.” We cross our feet and cross them back real quick before whip-neigh-neighing once again as Henry goes off. “I see you calling, I be makin' it quick. I'mma answer that shit like "I don't fuck with you".” We start breaking our knees before turning back to back and sort of bouncing once again while half-twerking as I snap my fingers to his words. “I don’t fuck with you.” He switches to a whisper. “Ya lil, ya lil dumb-ass bitch I ain’t fucking with you.” I smirk at the little bastard in the audience, pointing with two fingers from Henry back to him right before I freeze in place as the music cuts off.

But Henry keeps going.

“I got a million trillion things that I’d rather fucking do,” he continues.

“Kid,” I whisper, trying to wipe the smile off my face. “The music stops.”

But he doesn’t seem to hear me as he continues to vibe. “Than to be fucking with you.”

“Yup,” I shrug, quickly giving in and going to dance horribly with him.

Finally, after a few more verses where I try to tell him it’s over, he stops before turning to Jason. “Who’s the loser now Jason?” Henry asks, almost innocently before holding up his middle finger. “Bully this, bitch.”

I can’t help but snort at the blunt sentence and do my best to cover it as Henry drops the mic on the ground. Bending over, I grab it quickly before holding it up to my mouth.

“Oh my,” I say, smiling sheepishly. “I was unaware of the lyrics… a-and the strong language in that song.” I do my best to cast my gaze over the audience, but I really can’t see anything with the lights past the second row. “So I do apologize. But, uh,” I glance at Henry who looks happier and more confident than he has in months before turning back to the crowd. “You know what? I apologize for nothing else.” My head whips over to Jason and I hold up my middle finger at the same time as Henry. “Screw you Jason. Next time you call someone’s dad a faggot, make sure they don’t have a strong-ass friend to help them choregraph an amazing dance routine.” I then drop the mic too, doing a ‘boom’ motion with my hands before throwing an arm over Henry’s shoulders and leading him off the stage.

It’s silent for a second as we stand in the wings of the stage, before suddenly every kid besides Jason starts up and starts screaming their approval. They stomp their feet and clap their hands, whooping so loud it sounds like the Purge is starting.

“YES!” I hear Issie shout over the crowd with what I assume is tears of mirth in her voice. I poke my head out of the curtain to blow a playful kiss in her general direction, making the cheering reach an uproar before I turn back to a giddy Henry.

“Yes! We did it!” I cheer, catching him as he throws himself at me in a hug, beaming ear to ear. “Way to go, kid!”

“Thanks, Finn! I’m gonna be a rockstar here now!” he exclaims, and I feel my smile freeze before a sheepish one overtakes it.

“Yeah, nah, nah I think you’re gonna be expelled,” I say, the smile completely gone at the end of the sentence.

“Oh,” his face falls slightly, and I stare at him for a moment, before I’m suddenly on the move, grabbing the mic from the stand once more.

“Attention ladies, gentlemen, others, and Issie!” I exclaim, hearing a friendly ‘screw you’ from my friend as the crowd slowly goes silent. “We wanna thank you for coming out tonight to see these kids perform, but I have an announcement to make. Everything that Henry just did was entirely my fault! This little turd,” I jab a thumb towards Jason, ignoring his gasping mother next to him. “Has been tormenting my friend Henry for months! And so, a week ago I decided, all on my own with no help from Henry, that revenge was needed. Every word from that song, every dance move, every lewd gesture, that was all me!” I lie easily through my teeth, straightening up slightly and cracking my knuckles. “So, if any of you have a problem with what just happened, or want to expel that innocent ten year old boy, you can come talk to me in the parking lot. Capiche?”

“Capache!” All the kids in the audience scream back, and I grin for a moment at the memory of teaching all of them - except Jason - to respond with that.

“Goodnight DC! It’s been dope,” I shout, clicking the microphone back into the stand for once before going back to the wings just in time to catch Henry.

“Thank you, Finnie!” He squeals, hugging the air out of me as I catch him and start to carry him into the exit doors that lead into the crowd part of the ampitheatre. “But why did you lie?”

“I don’t want you to get expelled, kid, it’ll look bad on your record,” I explain as I push open the door with my hand, making my way through the entryway without taking my eyes off the kid I’m carrying. “Besides, what’re your teachers gonna do? I’m graduating highschool in a few months.” 

He gives me a grin and losens his grip so I let him slide to the floor. We then both look up at the same time to see a furious JJ, Will trying to stifle his laughter, and my Dad looking concerned. However I don’t understand his look until I realize his entire BAU team is standing behind him.

“Shit,” I say as I realize something.

I’m screwed.

********


	2. Reid Has A Daughter?!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JJ and Reid reprimand (while trying not to laugh) their kids after they basically cuss out the whole school and the team finds out about Reid's daughter.

TW: Karen, language

The first thing I do is take in the appearance of the Agents in front of me and match them to stories my dad’s told me, which only takes a few seconds. An African American man I recognize as Derek Morgan seems to be doing his best not to burst out laughing next to a chubby blonde woman I know as Penelope Garcia trying not to do the same thing next to him. Beside then is an older, Italian man I recognize as David Rossi who’s simply smirking. And finally, behind them all, is a stern-looking, black-haired man I think is Aaron Hotchner, Dad’s boss.

Deciding to bite the bullet, I turn a sheepish grin towards my dad, “Heyyyyy Dad.”

“DAD?” The reaction is immediate, with the entire team turning to stare agape at my dad as he groans and eventually gives me a stern look that I can tell is hiding a smile.

“Finn, what were you thinking?” he asks, not angry, just genuinely curious.

“Whatever it was, I love you for it,” Issie crows, suddenly appearing next to me with tears dripping down her face as she does her best to talk around her laughter, leaning on my shoulder. “Jesus, that’s the most I’ve laughed in awhile.” She giggles, trying to get herself under control before she notices my dad in front of us and gives him a sheepish grin. “Heyyy Mr. Reid.”

He facepalms. “Issie, not you too! You’re the nice one!”

“I had a bad day,” she pouts, and I roll my eyes, bringing my hand up to pat her head on my shoulder.

I then turn my attention to my dad and JJ. “Okay, Dad, Aunt JJ, don’t get mad. It was--”

“It was my fault, Mom!” Henry exclaims, giving a guilty look as the two turn to him. “Jason’s been bullying me and calling dad something that Finn says I’m not allowed to say but she said upstage, and it made me mad so I went to her with the idea of getting revenge. She didn’t want to do it at first, and wanted to just talk to a teacher, but I kinda manipulated her by telling her it’s better than being bored.”

“Henry!” JJ exclaims, turning to him, shocked. “Manipulating people?”

“Don’t go too hard on him,” I pipe up. “I mean, I chose the song.”

Dad’s head snaps towards me. “Finn…”

“It’s a catchy song Mr. Reid,” Issie says. “Even if the language is unfavorable.”

“Issie!”

“Okay!” Will pipes up, turning to me. “Finn, I don’t know what Spence wants to do with you, but Henry,” he turns to his son, “You are in no way grounded, that was the best damn thing I’ve ever seen in my life.”

“Will!” JJ exclaims, and he gives her an exasperated look.

“Aw, come on cher, he stood up for himself! Isn’t that what’s important?”

She sighs, thinking it over, before nodding begrudgingly. “I guess so.” She then whirls on Henry. “But you’re never allowed to say any of the words you just sang again.”  
“Okay!” He exclaims, holding his hands up in surrender.

“And Finn,” my dad starts, and I turn for him, bracing for the worst, before someone taps me harshly on the shoulder.

I turn to the side opposite of where Henry and Issie are to see a furious blond-haired Karen standing with her hands digging into Jason’t shoulders. She’s dressed in a hideous barf-green dress with a crocodile handbag and something in her teeth.

She immediately whirls on me. “Young lady,” she curls her lip at my tie and my haircut, “If I can even call you that. You need to apologize to my son right now! No one has a right to speak to him that way, especially someone like you.” She eyes Issie leaning on my shoulder who immediately pulls away at the glare.  
I see Dad stepping towards her out of the corner of my eye, his furious expression matched by JJ, Will, Issie, and surprisingly his team. I wave him off quickly, turning to the woman with such a cold expression on my face that she takes a step back.

My eyes rake over her quickly, taking in the tan line on her ring finger, the cat hair on her black shoes, the price tag on her dress, the knockoff bag, and the vial attached to her necklace.

“Oh I’m sorry Ma’am, I’m confused,” I start, almost innocently. “See, it’s my understanding that your son had no right to insult Henry’s father like that. Do you want to know what I think happened?” I ask, then start explaining before she can say anything. “I think your husband divorced you because he realized he was gay. Then, instead of being sad but eventually accepting it and getting along as responsible adults, you battled him in court for custody of Jason here. However, during the court case it was revealed that you cheated on him on your recent business trip to South America. He eventually won part-time custody, but instead of using the child alimony he has to pay you for Jason, you decided to use it on that hideous dress with the tag still sticking out of the back, and that knockoff handbag. Then, to try and get over your grief of losing you partner, instead of putting yourself back out there, trying to make amends with him, you bought an old white cat who hates you and your son and claws you at every opportunity. Then you started blaming your husband for everything that happened instead of taking responsibility like a reasonable adult.” My piercing blue eyes stare at the suddenly pale woman who’s dragged her son a few feet away from me. “How did I do?”

“You’re a freak,” she hisses, before going to pull him away.

“I get that alot!” I shout after her before turning back to my dad, returning Issie’s fistbump and ignoring his team’s shocked expressions in favor of his proud one. “You were saying, Dad?”

“You’re definitely not grounded,” he grins, “Just - please don’t do this again.”

“Deal,” I grin.”

It’s silent for a second before Garcia pipes up.

“I’m sorry, are we all not still shocked by the fact that Reid has a baby genius?” she says. I turn to raise an eyebrow at her, giving her a once over, before looking at my dad.  
He sighs, nods slightly at me, and turns to his team as I walk over so he can place an arm around my shoulders. “This is Finley, but she goes by Finn. She’s fifteen, has an IQ of 200, a photographic memory, and can read 25,000 words per minute.”

I give a smirk and a wink at the shocked looks he receives in response before there’s an uproar I quickly cut off.

“Listen, I get that this conversation has to happen someday, but can it happen while we’re eating food? I’m starving,” I say, focusing the statement towards my dad.  
He gives me a stern look. “Have you eaten today?”

I sigh. “Yes Dad. I had breakfast and lunch.”

“Lie!” Issie chimes in on the other side of me, and I give her a glare.

“Fine, I had six graham crackers for breakfast, but I was busy!”

“Doing what?” Dad asks.

“Reading.”

“Lie!”

“Fine! I was skateboarding while reading.”

“Finn, that’s dangerous!” he exclaims.

I shrug, accidentally dislodging his arm. “I was wearing a helmet.”

“Li--” Issie starts, but I elbow her in the gut.  
He grumbles, pinching the bridge of his nose before turning back to his team. “Listen, I’ll explain everything to you guys tomorrow, alright? I have to go make sure both of these guys eat.” He gestures to me and then Issie who immediately tries to get out of it.

“You know, I actually have a super important doctor appointment so--” she starts, going to edge away.

Dad gives her a grin. “Relax, I’m not cooking. We’ll order takeout.”

“Yes!” Issie and I cheer at the sametime, high-fiving before dragging my dad away from the school.

*********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Any suggestions/edits/opinions are greatly appreciated!


	3. Take Your Goddang Meds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Issie shows up at Finns house and argues with Finn about taking her meds while Finn argues with her to eat and Reid is exhausted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kinda a dark chapter (TW: Mentions of self-harm and anorexia, 'accidental' self harm? I dunno how to phrase it, mentions of ADHD, symptoms of ADHD, fighting over taking meds, Finn being a moron with no self-preservation) but I promise the one after this is gonna be lighter. But chapter four.... I make no promises.
> 
> Low-key I started this on a whim so I'm going where my brain takes me.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Any feedback is appreciated and it motivates me! :D

TW: Semi self-harm, actually it's sorta graphic? no blood or anything, crap this is dark, kinda a vent?, mentions of past self harm, mentions of ADHD, boredom, mentions of a panic attack, shorter chapter because I hafta explain some things before the action starts

Finn P.O.V

Two days later I find myself being pinned to the floor five minutes after my dad left at the crack of dawn to get to work impossibly early.

“Just swallow the goddamn pills, Finn,” Issie complains from her place straddling my stomach, her curly black hair falling in my face . Unfortunately, despite how strong I am, Issie still outweighs me (thanks to the scrawny ass genetics I inherited). So all she really has to do is grab my arms and sit on top of me and I can’t get up. “You’re usually good about this.”

While she’s talking she shifts a bit, and I immediately take the opportunity to flip us over and rip my wrists out of her gasp before sitting on her stomach and grabbing her hands before she could push me off. I lock my legs around her waist, and after a second she must realize I’m not budging because she sighs loudly and lets her head fall back to hit the floor with a thump.

“I’ll take my meds when you eat breakfast,” I barter, and she groans, shaking her head.

“I don’t want to,” she says, well more like wines.

I can tell she’s surprised when I don’t start arguing with her and instead make myself as comfortable as I can be while sitting on my best friend, trapping her arms under my legs and grabbing a photo album from the pile near her head. “Then I’m not taking my meds, and we can both stay on the floor as I read this photo album of my childhood and slowly spiral into a panic attack.”

She doesn’t cave right away, staying still on the rug in the middle of the coffee-scented front room that doubles as an entrance, dad’s office, the living room, and mini library. Dad’s room and my room are accessible through two different doors on opposite side of the kitchen (which is through an entryway on the side of the front room), though we usually end up passing out in the front room with Dad in the reading chair and me on the leather sofa. Both of us were surrounded with books, which is how Issie found us this morning. My best friend and I go to the skate park every Saturday morning, so I shouldn’t have been surprised when I was woken up by her tackling me to the floor (making sure not to let my head slam against the ground), and waking up my dad by default. I, once seeing what time it is, started making coffee, pushed Dad to go get dressed and brush his teeth (which he did very groggily) and handed him coffee about three minutes later as he stumbled out the door.

Then Issie asked if I’d taken my meds, and I asked if she’d eaten, which is how we ended up wrestling on the floor like a couple toddlers. Unfortunately it had gotten a bit rougher than we planned, ending with a large bruise on my right cheek that I see Issie notice now with a pang of guilt, and a knot on the back of her head.

“Fine,” Issie groans, the slightly shorter girl making eye contact with me as I lower the album from my face. “I’ll eat if you cook and agree to take your meds.”

“Promise?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. She wiggles, and I release one of her arms so she can hold up her pinkie towards me. I stare at her. “You’re joking.”

“Just do the pinkie promise, Fin,” she says.

I sigh, caving and locking our pinkies while muttering. “This is utterly ridiculous, we’re in high school.”

“You’re still fifteen,” Issie says, scrambling to her feet after I get up and immediately stretching and cracking her back.

“You’re only sixteen,” I point out.

“Still older than you. Plus I can drive.”

“You’re only a year older.”

“Still counts.”

“I can beat up three men twice the size of me at the same time.”

“I can convince bouncers I’m 21.”

“I chose to make good decisions.”

“You chose to be a goody two shoes.”

“.... I cussed out an elementary school kid a few days ago.”

Issie freezes before she huffs loudly, and I smirk, realizing I won. Suddenly my best friend gives me a look. “Hey, did your dad eat breakfast this morning? I don’t think I saw him grab any lunch.”

I freeze, thinking for a moment, and curse loudly. My dad isn’t anorexic, nor am I, unlike Issie used to be. However, sometimes we’re so wrapped up in our brains that eating just seems like a waste of time. I flipped out once after realizing Dad didn’t eat the entire time he was on a three day long case, and he lost his mind after I went a week without eating while solving the ‘hardest math equations in the world’.

“Why don’t you make something for him and run it over while we’re at the skatepark?” Issie asks, scrolling through her phone. “I don’t think I’m allowed in the shmancy FBI building, but I’m pretty sure you could sneak your way into the Pentagon.”

I grumble. “That was one time.” She simply grins at me, and I roll my eyes, pushing her towards the kitchen table. “Fine, I’ll cook breakfast, but you have to do dinner.”

She teasingly tilts her chin up at me. “Hmm, I dunno. I may not be here later… may have something to do.” I give her a look and she holds her hands up in surrender. “Geez, alright. I was kidding. Why are you all grumpy?”

“Well someone did tackle me to the floor as a way to wake me up in the morning,” I say, going to grab the eggs out of the fridge, a glass of water, and my pills. Issie shrugs, placing her phone on the table, and turning up the volume to blast ‘Mr. Loverman’ by Ricky Montgomery.

I absentmindedly start swaying to the music as I wait for the frying pan to heat up, spraying it with cooking spray as it does. My pills get popped into my mouth, and I swallow them with a gulp of water, opening my mouth to show Issie it’s empty afterwards. 

The eggs cook fast after that, as does the bacon. I make a little extra bacon and cut up some avocado, lettuce, and tomato while I’m waiting for the food to cool down. I place the ingredients between two slices of bread, wrap it in tinfoil, and place it in a paper lunch sack along with an apple, a granola bar, and a mini water bottle.

I then grab the two plates of scrambled eggs and bacon and two forks before bringing them to the table, setting one down in front of Issie and sitting next to her. My body must have been more hungry than I thought, because I wolf down the food almost too fast. Once I finish, I realize Issie’s eating at the speed of a turtle, and I grumble at my suddenly bouncing knee. My fingers start tapping individually on the table in a steady rhythm, and I start fidgeting with the butter knife I got, getting dangerously close to cutting myself with it before I hop up from the table.

Issie doesn’t look up, used to my sudden bursts of boredom and energy by now since I was diagnosed with ADHD seven years ago. 

I grab my plate and my utensils and bring them to the sink, setting the water as hot as it can possibly go before shoving my bare hands under it to start scrubbing the dishes that had piled up. Usually dad does the dishes and I dry them, but when I’m home alone I get super bored with my own thoughts, so I blast music in my earbuds and clean.  
As soon as the water hits my hands, a wave of tingling pain makes its way from the apendages up my arms, over my shoulders, up my neck and to my brain. I breathe a bit easier as the pain reduces my energy a bit, praying for the meds to kick in soon as I take to cleaning each and every one of the dishes for just a little bit too long. 

Issie finishes eating, and goes to bring her plate up to the sink before dropping it on the ground when she sees me. “Finn, stop!” she cries, and I yank my hands out of the water in shock, noticing quickly how much steam had gathered in the room. Issie reaches over to turn the faucet to cold before going to grab my hands, flinching away as she makes contact with them.

We both look down at my hands, and I hiss at the sudden throbbing that comes from them as soon as I take in the extent of the injury. My hands are bright red and a little swollen, obviously scalded. How I didn’t notice this is beyond me.

Issie curses, looking up at me with hurt in her eyes. “Finn you promised you’d stopped this.” She gestures to my hands and my forearms that are exposed thanks to the Star Trek t shirt I’m wearing and are littered with scars

“I did,” I protest, pulling my hands and arms away from her. “I seriously didn’t realize the water was that hot. I just got a lot of energy and I was really--”

“Bored,” Issie finishes with a sigh, reaching out for my hands. When I don’t offer them to her, she gives me an earnest look. “I believe you, Finn. Just - be careful next time, alright?” I nod, making her relax almost immediately as she reaches once more. “Now gimme your hands, we have to wash them under cold water and bandage them up.” My body offers my hands to her, and she takes them with an easy smile and pushes us both towards the sink so she can run the appendages under cold water.

I sigh in relief once my hands are submerged, the throbbing calms down quite a bit thanks to the cold temperature. We stand there for a few seconds before I hear sniffling and turn to Felix to see her blinking back tears.

“We’re really screwed up, huh?” she asks, smiling around the tears. To my horror I feel the same expression spread on my face, only without the tears.

“Yeah,” I say, not seeing the point in lying. “I mean, we have been through a lot of shit.”

She shakes her head. “You’ve been through a lot of shit, I’ve been through a little shit.”

I gape at her, ignoring the tears welling up in my eyes. “Did you just swear Issie?”

She gives me a watery grin. “It’s a special occasion.” I return the look and we fall back into silence, the occasional sniffle coming from either of us for the next few minutes before Issie pulls my now numb hands from the water, and leads me over to the couch. She makes me sit down on the leather cushions, and jogs over to rummage through the cabinet over the blue refrigerator before pulling out a first aid kit. My best friend comes jogging back over and sits down indian style next to me, gesturing for me to turn to face her, which I do. She then takes my hands and starts loosely wrapping them in gauze.

“... So how are you doing?” she eventually pipes up, and I face her with dread already building in my stomach. “With, um, Emily’s passing and all.”

Pain shoots through my chest, but I shove it down, done crying for the morning. “I’m fine, it was a year ago so I’m over it.” She unwraps a couple bandaids to secure the gauze in place, and I see my chance. “Did you know Band-Aid Brand Adhesive Bandages were invented in 1920 by Earle Dickson? He was a young cotton buyer at Johnson & Johnson, and his wife was really clumsy and prone to kitchen accidents while he was at work that he couldn’t help her secure until he got back home at the end of the day. So he took surgical adhesive tape and gauze and--”

“Please stop changing the subject with facts, Finn,” Issie says, not buying my bullshit for a second. “As much as I love hearing you rant about bandaids, I need to know if you’re really okay.”

I sigh, shifting slightly when she pulls a bandage a little too tight and nodding at her apology. “I mean, I miss her, of course I do. She was like my older sister.” I curse out loud, coughing away the lump in my throat that suddenly appeared. “But it’s not like I’m gonna throw myself off the roof again or anything, I’ve gotten past that.”  
A clear expression of pure relief comes over Issie and she relaxes. “Are the meds working?”

I nod. “Yeah, definitely.” Suddenly a thought pops into my brain and I groan. “Dad’s gonna ask about my hands when I bring him his lunch,” I say in response to my best friend’s questioning look.

“Just explain to him that it was an accident--” Issie starts, but her phone suddenly rings as she secures the last bandaid. She gives me an apologetic look and I wave her off.  
My best friend picks up the phone and holds it over, her ear, immediately going off about something in Spanish. After a few minutes of her conversation that I don’t have the mental capacity at the moment to translate she hangs up, and gives me a guilty look.

“Sorry Finn, but I can’t go to the skatepark today. I have to watch my cousins when they come over,” she says, looking crestfallen.

I shrug. “It’s fine, it’s only Saturday, we can still go tomorrow. Plus now that the team knows about me I could probably ask my dad to let me hang out with him at work today.”

“... Are you sure?” she’s staring into my eyes now, trying to get an honest reaction.

I give her the most open expression I can. “Definitely. You go on, I gotta grab my dad’s lunch and my skateboard.”

A smile stretches on her face, and she pecks my cheek quickly, leaving a lipstick stain I childishly wipe at. Then when I look back up, my friend is gone.  
Suddenly my phone buzzes, and I open it to find a text from Issie.

Isabellzzz: WEAR A HELMET.  
******


	4. The Office (Not the show)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finley goes to Reid's office for the first time. shenanigans ensue. The girl explains more about her mom and that one time she broke into the pentagon and nearly caused a national emergency.

Finley P.O.V

(A/N: IMPORTANT: I REWROTE IT SO FINN'S ADDICTED TO CIGARETTES)

TW: Cigarettes, lies, mentions of past sexual abuse

“Kid, what are you doing?” Toby, a tall, African American man wearing a bright orange safety vest in front of me, sighs. 

“Getting on the subway?” I ask, grinning sheepishly at him and kicking my plain black skateboard so I can catch it and tuck it under my arm near my backpack strap.

I see his eyes catch on my bandages, but thankfully he just sighs and pats me on the head. He then points from his eyes back to mine and then my board. “You know the rules, kiddo. No skateboarding on the subway. We even had to put up a sign just for you.” he gestures to the sign with bold letters that says ‘NO SKATEBOARDING (especially you Fin)’ that I’m honestly pretty proud of.

“I promise I won’t, Tobes,” I cross my heart with my right hand, crossing the fingers of my left and grin when he waves me along.

I’ve known Toby since I was ten and started taking the subway by myself. Of course, dad didn’t know I was taking the subway alone until I was thirteen, and even then he was worried sick and insisted I carry pepper spray, mace, and a knife. He wanted to buy me a shirt with his face on it that said ‘My dad is an FBI agent’, but I quickly convinced him that that would just draw unwanted attention to me.

He hasn’t found out about ten year old me on the subway, twelve year old me going to the public library, thirteen year old me trying a cigarette with some Seniors, or fourteen year old me going to the basketball courts alone (and thankfully meeting a really nice group of teenage boys there who didn’t have any creepy motives and were even impressed by my level of basketball ability), and he never will. Growing up with a profiler teaches you how to lie really well. 

That being said, I do feel guilty about lying to him sometimes, but then I remember how much of a helicopter dad he is. After I tried that cigarette I got addicted to the feeling of being out of control, and accidentally got addicted to them, unbeknownst to Dad or Issie. That was also around the time dad had his Dilaudid addiction so that didn’t help.

Plus if he ever finds out I’ve lied, I guess that would be a good time to bring up mom.

Mom. That thought makes me freeze for a second before I sit down on one of the subway seats, ignoring Toby’s shocked look from the platform. 

It’s true that I snuck into the Pentagon. I did it when I was thirteen and managed to spend a good three hours in there before security got me and ‘escorted’ me home. The incident almost made the national news, but dad managed to convince them not to go to the media. Of course I helped a bit with that by giving the security my best innocent face and telling them ‘I just wanted to find grandpa’, to which dad explained, in HIS best sad voice, that my ‘pop pop’ had died a few months ago and I was still processing my grief. The security believed us, of course they did, and asked me how I got into the pentagon. I lied and told them I snuck in on the back of the laundry cart (I hacked in) and they smiled sadly at me, wished us both the best, patted me on the head, and left.

Dad grounded me for the first time that week, mostly because I wouldn’t tell him what I went in there to find and if I found it or not.

Of course I found what I was looking for. I’m not bragging, and being completely honest here, I’m currently the smartest person in the world. If I hadn’t been able to find it, no one could have.

The ‘it’ was my mother by the way.

And what I found wasn’t great.

My initial searches through the Pentagon’s records didn’t show anything, and it’s only when I dug into Las Vegas records specifically (which took FOREVER) did I find something that almost made my heart explode.

Dad never pressed charges on ‘mom’, otherwise known as Bailey Miller.

In fact, not only did he never press charges, no one ever did. She still lives in Las Vegas and is apparently now a school teacher for high school in twelfth grade. According to her medical records, she’s given birth two other times without being married or in a relationship, and the kids don’t live with her. The kids are named Bianca Williams and Andrew Smith, they’re my half siblings, and I have no intention of ever meeting them.

Of course my first reaction was to find this lady and either get us both thrown in jail, just her, or straight up un-alive her, but as I was in DC and thirteen I couldn’t. My head was spinning with so many different solutions to the pure rage in my system that after Dad and I lied to the cops it wouldn’t have mattered. I retreated into my head for two weeks, not moving at all from the middle of the living room floor. It got to the point where dad brought in a doctor friend, but I’ve been told I fought him off unconsciously every time he tried. Leading to the doctor having a bloody nose and just telling my dad that it wouldn’t kill me to do this but he should bring me to a therapist afterwards.  
After that, I settled into numb acceptance with the single promise that one day I will go to LV, find my birth mother, and… talk to her.

“APPROACHING QUANTICO VIRGINIA,” the loudspeaker announces, successfully knocking me out of my thoughts. I chose to ignore how my hands flutter like wings at the sudden loud sound, and instead latch them around my board and bag as soon as it stops.

I’m the first one off the subway as soon as the doors open, and I sprint up the stairs. My board gets thrown down on the sidewalk the minute my nose is filled with the familiar smell of cigarettes, pollution, and gasoline, and I place my right foot on it before pushing off.

Getting to the FBI’s building and getting in is a blur to me as I have one of my earbuds in and really just concentrate on NF blasting into my right eardrum. I do barely register the lady at the front desk laughing at something I said, and eventually handing me a piece of paper that had her number on it (I look a lot older than I am). Instead of correcting her, I think I just winked before making my way to the stairs and booking it up the thirty flights.

All of that leads to me walking facing the doors of the BAU’s office, nervously adjusting the tie around my neck.

The only piece of fashion I inherited from my dad is my love of ties and sweaters, but that’;s where the similarities end. Dad’s always wearing buttoned-up shirts, slacks, ties, sweaters, sweater vests, all practical things. I’m always wearing vintage t-shirts with oversized flannels or jean jackets over them and ripped jeans or leggings. Today I’m in a Van Halen t-shirt with a paint-splattered black jean jacket, black ripped jeans, and a black tie. I re-wrapped my hands a bit tighter after Issie left with some bright blue bandages that match the shirt, and had taken in the damage. My hands are barely burned, but still hurt like a bitch and should be better two days from now (my family heals quickly).

Squaring my shoulders and deciding to ‘grow a pair’ as Darren (one of the boys I play ball with after school) likes to say, I step forwards and push the doors to the office open way too loudly.

I flinch at the resulting bang and give a sheepish grin with a wave when Dad and his teammate’s (save for Hotch who I think in his office) gazes snap to me. “Sorry. I didn’t think it would be that loud--”

The woman I’m 99% sure is Penelope Garcia squeals and launches herself at me, scooping me up in a hug that I freeze at, scanning her in my head. “Baby genius!”  
Blonde hair, brown eyes, comically large earrings, slightly overweight, touchy, over-affectionate. The names, illnesses, backstory, and just pure thought swirls in my head and spews out of my mouth before I can stop it. Facts completely overwhelming the trapped feeling I got when she grabbed me.

“Penelope Grace Garcia,” I make an educated guess on the middle name, but I seem to get it right because I feel her let me go, but I can’t seem to focus my eyes, drifting into my mind instead. “34 years old, Caucasian, female, suffers from PTSD thanks to a failed attempt on her life by a Mr. Jason Clark Battle. Placed third on the nationwide watchlist of possible threats to the USA and-”

“Finnie!” Dad snaps his fingers in front of my face, and I snap back. My gaze flies around the room, seeing all the slack jawed agents, including a gaping Garcia.  
I immediately gave her an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry. I just wasn’t expecting you to grab me and-”

“You’re a MINI PROFILER!” she squeals, not at all angry, before the expression slips off her face to be replaced by a pout. “Wait, did Spence just tell you all of that?”

I raise an eyebrow at her, then at dad who blushes. “SPENCE hm?”

“That’s dad to you, loser,” he teases, ruffling my short hair. 

I gasp dramatically. “Wow, father, wow. I don’t know if I can ever recover from the emotional abuse that comment just put me through--”

“Oh whatever,” he huffs, but I see the grin on his face. He then turns to Garcia who is beaming at the two of us along with Derek Morgan, JJ, Hotchner (who had emerged from his office), and Rossi. “But no, Garcia, I didn't tell her that. I showed her a photo of you guys once and told her your names, but that’s about it.”

“So you got all of that in, what, five seconds?” Rossi asks, approaching the three of us.

“Two point eight, actually,” I correct him, not unkindly, hoping he won’t get offended. Luckily, he doesn’t, and just turns a small smile to Reid.

“She really is a mini you,” he grins.

“Please,” I scoff as sarcastically as I can. “He’s just a grown up me.”

“Omigosh I love her,” Garcia coos, going to wrap me a hug. However, she freezes right before she grabs me, and looks at me for permission. I stare at her for a second, evaluating, before slowly nodding. This time I’m thankful when she just squeezes me for a second and lets me go. However she happens to glance down and notice my wrapped hands. “What happened to your hands?”

“Excuse me?” Dad yelps, and immediately goes to grab my wrists, inspecting the perfect bandaging before turning an exasperated look on me. “Finn,” he draws out my name, and that’s when I know he’s upset. “What happened?”

“I accidentally put the water in the sink too high when I was washing the dishes,” I defend, then, seeing his only half-believing look, I decide to add more to the story. “Then I went to empty the dishwasher but the plates were really hot and the pasta pot burned me.”

He sighs, but I see the relief in his eyes as he lets my hands go. Then, clearly seeing how uncomfortable his teammates’ attention is making me, he changes gears. “So you got up here okay?”

It’s a weak attempt at a change of subject, but I appreciate it all the same and settle for giving him a shit-eating grin. “Yup,” I say, popping the ‘p’ and holding the slip of paper next to my head. “The cute girl at the front desk gave me her number.”

“WHAT?” Dad full on shouts this time, going to grab the piece of paper, but I’m too fast for him. I easily step out of the way, spinning quickly so I end up by Morgan. My grin spreads when he goes to fist-bump me.

“Daaaang, baby Reid’s got game,” he says, and then snickers at my pout when I hear his nickname.

“Derek, she’s fifteen,” my dad complains, giving me a stern look that makes me raise my bandaged hands up in surrender.

“Please, Reid, do you know how many ‘dates’ I went on at fifteen?” Derek asks, crossing his arms with a smirk.

“Exactly!” Dad says, gesturing to him. “I don’t want Finn becoming a… player,” he scrambles for a word and that’s what he settles for.

“Relax, dad, it’s not like I’m going to go out with her, she’s twenty three,” I reassure him. “She thought I was twenty one.”

He raises an eyebrow. “She told you that?”

“Nope.”

This is where Rossi intervenes. “Wait, Finn’s gay?” Everyone in the office, including me, gives him disbelieving looks. “What?” He asks, on the defensive.

“Mr. Rossi, if I looked any gayer I think I’d turn into a rainbow,” I deadpan, gesturing to my clothes and hair. I then turn my back a bit so he can see the several pride pins on my bag. Dad gives me a fond smile at the pins and rolls his eyes at my over-the-top nature.

The office is dead silent, and everyone has different expressions. Hotch looks exasperated, rolling his eyes at Rossi. JJ is facepalming, but I see the grin under her her hand. Garcia is just staring, once again jaw-dropped. Dad discreetly high-fives me with me slipping him the piece of paper during it. He gives me a shocked look that morphs into amusement as he places the paper in the trash. And Morgan looks like he’s deciding whether to high-five me as well or burst out laughing.

He goes with the former, causing Garcia and JJ to join in and eventually my dad while my gaze stays on Rossi who gives me a grin.

“Fair enough, but don’t call me Mr. Rossi, alright kid? Makes me feel old,” he says.

I shug, looking between him and dad. “So what do I call all of you?” My gaze turns to JJ who looks smug. “Well, besides Auntie JJ.”

“Woah, Pretty Boy, how come she gets to be ‘Auntie’,” Morgan jokingly pouts, but I can see a bit of hurt behind his eyes, and an idea clicks in my head. Dad doesn’t really talk about the team much, but I know Morgan is his best friend besides JJ and Garcia because I’ve seen him text the dumbest memes to the stronger man at three am. I didn’t even know my dad knew what memes WERE but I’m pretty sure Garcia told him.

I discreetly nudge my dad with my elbow, and when he glances down he takes in my expression and makes a noise of understanding before snapping his gaze back to his team. His face flushes a bit, and he scratches the back of his neck. “Well, JJ and I have been referring to all of you as ‘Aunt’ and ‘Uncle’ to Henry and Finn since they first asked, so she could just call you those names if that’s alright with all of you?”

That’s not ENTIRELY true. Dad did muse to me briefly once that it’d be cool if the team met me and we could all be a big family, but I didn’t think he remembered saying that. The only times he’s ever talked about the team at home before I met them was when he was overworked, stressed, and a lot when he was on Dilaudid. He never told me any facts about them, but just told me funny stories from work where they were nice to him. On particularly bad nights, when the drug just made him sad, he’d mumble about how often they tell him to stop talking, which is why I’m doing my best to keep my rambling under control.

The team, however, seems all too eager to accept dad’s statement as true, and they’re all smiling at him as Hotch takes a step forward. “That’d be fine with us, Finn.”

I see my chance, and without thinking I decide to take it. 

“Thanks Auntie Hotch,” I grin with a wink. The effect is immediate as Hotch, Dad, and JJ’s faces turn bright red. The two younger agents immediately turn to explain that they didn’t introduce him like that. Rossie looks like Christmas came early, but he’s trying to unsuccessfully hide it as Hotch glares at him. This particular statement seems to be too much for Morgan and Garcia who have to physically place their hands on their knees so they don’t fall over laughing. A grin splits my face at the scene, but I do however quickly interrupt my floundering Aunt and Dad. “Sorry, sir. I’m sorry,” I gasp, trying to stifle my laughter as the older man gives me a stern expression, but I swear his lips tilt for a second. “I just - I saw the opportunity.”

“Finn,” Dad scolds me, his cheeks bright red, but Hotch cuts him off.

“It’s fine, Reid,” he says, then turns to me with a raised eyebrow. “Just… stick with Uncle for now, alright kid?” He gives the smallest grin ever, but it’s so surprising that Morgan and Garcia freeze at the expression. “I don’t think I’m ready for the responsibility of being an Aunt.” He then swings his gaze around the office. “Everyone get back to work, maybe Finn can help with some paperwork if Reid’s alright with it.” And then the old man gives me one last look before disappearing into his office.

“He smiled,” Garcia states the obvious, staring after her boss with a slack jaw. “He never smiles.” She swings her gaze to me, something akin to awe in her eyes. “You made him smile.”

“Finn tends to have that effect on people,” Dad claps a hand on my shoulder and I grin sheepishly at him until he gives me a sincere smile. Pride blooming on his face. “We call it the Finn Affect.”

Derek’s attention peaks from his desk he retreated to after Hotch left. “Like the reverse Reid Effect?” he asks with a teasing grin towards my dad that makes him scowl.

Dad raises his chin in defiance and stares Derek down, to his co-workers’ obvious surprise. “No. Not like the reverse Reid Effect.”

I glance between them, trying to ignore the amazing smell of coffee behind me and focus on whatever it is they’re talking about. “What’s the Reid Effect?” 

The two men exchange glances in front of me, clearly having a mental argument they seem to forget I can easily read. My dad tilts his chin up a bit more, signalling that he clearly doesn’t want me to know about it (which does admittedly anger me. I hate not knowing things.), while Derek gives him a smug look and a raised eyebrow, trying to argue that I can handle the answer.

Which seems almost as ridiculous as whatever it is they’re talking about.

Finally, my dad caves, and shrugs his shoulders, tilting his head towards me as a signal to Derek. The stronger man then turns to me in his swivel chair, his hands steepled like a lame cartoon supervillain.

“Ya see kid,” Derek says. “The Reid Effect is basically your… dad’s,” his nose wrinkles ever so slightly, not in disgust, more of mild surprise. “Negative effect on animals and small children.”

My brows furrow, and for the first time in while, I find myself confused. 

Not an everyday occurrence, let me tell you.

“What are you talking about?” I ask, glancing around at JJ, Garcia, Derek, and Rossi who are all sitting down now along with my dad and all look equally taken aback. “All the animals I’ve ever seen dad interact with love him, and so do kids. I mean, he did have one of his own.” I gesture to myself for emphasis on that last part and Dad scrunches his face up, giving me a playfully disgusted look that I stick my tongue out at. 

“What do you mean?” Derek asks. “Every time I go into a room with Reid in a case the animals and kids always freak out around him.”

I contemplate this for a split second, letting words, numbers, and phrases circle around my eyes before a few sentences light up in bold. Once I realize what they say, my thumb and pointer finger take up residence on the bridge of my nose. 

“Have you ever considered that dogs and small children can sense when someone is stressed or uncomfortable, and then mirror those emotions? And that the only times you’ve seen my dad in the same room as either of those he’s been under a lot of stress to solve a case?” I ask, taking my ringers off the bridge of my nose and sticking my hands in my pockets as I give them all knowing looks with the exception of Dad who looks exasperated. He glances at all the thinking Agents, rolls his eyes, and goes back to his paperwork.

One by one his coworkers expressions light up as realization crosses their features, and they turn to stare at my dad who waves them all off.

“I tried to tell you,” he huffs, refusing to look up from his paper. And I know he has. I haven’t ever heard of the name ‘Reid Effect’ but Dad has ranged about the team saying he’s bad with animals and kids before. Of course it always ended with me commenting ‘imagine their faces if they find out you’re a dad’ and him dissolving into giggles. 

Usually ‘giggles’ isn’t a term I’d use for adults but my dad is different and I know we have a different relationship that most fathers and daughters. For one thing we’re only twelve years apart, so it’s really less like a father daughter relationship and more like a sibling relationship. Except, of course, for the fact that Dad is super overprotective and doesn’t know about half the things I do.

“Oh… sorry Reid,” Derek says, scratching the back of his neck as the others quickly follow his lead.

My dad sighs quietly so only I can hear, but he shrugs all the same. “Eh, it’s fine. It was kind of the point that you didn’t know.”

Derek’s quiet for a minute after that before turning his swivel chair to me. “Alright then… in that case, wanna help me with some paperwork kid genius?” he asks with a smirk, grinning at me.

I look at Dad who clearly hesitates before shrugging. “I wouldn’t be able to stop you anyways, so sure. Show him how it’s done. And try not to set any computers on fire this time, alright?”

Derek’s face goes pale for a second, but it’s two late, as I’ve grabbed his entire stack of paperwork and sat down on the floor near Dad’s desk. Accepting the pencil he hands me along with the nasty cup of coffee I still appreciate.

The first file is done before I’m even fully settled.  
********

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooow that's a longer chapter.  
> I'm tired.  
> Hope you enjoyed! Any feedback is appreciated!


	5. Finn's Mind Bridge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Spencer explain a bit about Finn's brain and invite someone over for dinner.

Third Person P.O.V

“You - You took all my files,” Derek stares down in shock at the girl on the floor. Her hair is quite messy, and he notices with a small grin that it’s almost the same haircut Reid has. Her bandages hands don’t seem to be bothering her as she flies through paperwork that would have taken him hours in mere seconds. Leading Derek to nearly believe she has superpowers of some kind.

Despite the overwhelming amount of evidence in front of him, the stronger FBI agent still can’t quite believe Spencer Reid, his best friend, has had a kid all these years and never told him. How did they not know about Finn? They’re profilers, damnit, they should have seen the signs. Hindsight is always 20/20 and as Derek looks back through his memories of Spencer through the BAU, he curses himself for not realizing it sooner. Reid had always been on a hurry to go home after cases and never really went out with the team, he had dark circles under his eyes almost constantly in the beginning of his career, he never let any of them in his apartment but they know it’s a two-bedroom, and he’s never been interested in dating.

However, now that Derek really looks at Finn it’s obvious that Spencer’s her father. They have the same curly brown hair, startling blue eyes with matching shadows to Reid’s, and the same pale skin. On the other hand it’s also recognizable that they’re two very different people. For one thing, their fashion senses are almost polar opposites. Reid’s always dressed in sweater vests, sweaters, button up shirt, pants, and work shoes, while Finn has piercings, wears black makeup (at the talent show, though not today), has flannels, ripped jeans, and combat boots, and is obviously not straight.

Then again Derek was never very sure where Reid stood on the sexuality scale anyways.

A part of him is, admittedly, hurt Reid never told him. Derek doesn’t have any kids, but he’s older than Spencer by quite a few years and could have helped the kid. There’s also a part of him - the one that’s kicking him right now - that suddenly sees all the signs in Spencer. Reid’s always had nightmares, never likes physical contact (except with Finn it seems), never ate much, avoid the topic of sex at all costs….. The signs were right in front of him and Derek never saw it.

His best friend was sexually abused, had a kid dumped in him at the age of twelve, and has been raising her and himself all these years. 

Finn doesn’t react to Morgan’s voice at all, leading Derek to believe she simply hadn’t heard him, but Spencer cuts him off when he goes to repeat himself.

“She can’t hear you,” he gives him a knowing look, blue eyes snapping to his brown ones, searching for something. Spencer looks at Derek for a moment, trying to gauge how he’s taking all of this. Of course, Derek was the one he was most nervous about telling. Now because he was worried his best friend wouldn’t be a good influence, no. He didn’t want to tell Derek because he of all people knows the signs of sexual abuse, and judging by the look in the taller man’s eyes, he just worked that out for himself.

Reid tenses, worried the other Agent is about to tall him out on it. “What do you mean she can’t hear me?” Derek asks instead, clearly not pleased with his lack of answers but respecting Spencer enough not to call him out in front of everybody. Spencer gives him a grateful look, and downs half his cup of coffee at the same time as Finn.

“Finn’s, well she…” he trails off turning in his swivel chair to face away from Finn and towards Derek who does the same. “She’s incredibly smart. Sure, we know her exact IQ number, and I’ve come close a couple of times, but we’ll never be able to understand what goes on inside her head, and she knows that. As far as she’s told me, she has a Mind Bridge--”

“A Mind Bridge? What’s that?” Derek asks.

His best friend huffs at the interruption. “It’s a place in her brain she can retreat to in order to remember things, solve problems, or even just meditate in a way.”

“Oh, like a Mind Palace?” Derek frowns. “Isn’t it supposed to be a palace?”

Reid shrugs. “It’s Finn,” is all he says as explanation, and Derek seems to accept that answer so he moves on. “Right now she’s really focused on the paperwork, and should be for the next minute, but she’s not fully on her Mind Bridge, more like at the entrance to it. When she’s fully inside her mind, she doesn’t talk to anyone, doesn’t move, doesn’t eat, doesn’t drink… doesn’t do anything, really.”

“That… does not sound healthy,” Derek says, brows furrowing.

Spencer looks exhausted as he shakes his head. “It’s not, but if she doesn’t do it she’ll end up doing something really dangerous like breaking into the Pentagon,” he holds up a hand to stop Derek from talking, shock evident on the older man’s face. “Don’t ask. The longest she’s ever been at her Mind Bridge is a week--”

“A week? Couldn’t she die from dehydration?” The two men jump as JJ’s voice sounds from in front of them, both whirling to face the woman who rolls her eyes at them and places her hands on her hips. “Guys, you’re talking pretty loudly in the middle of the office. We get invested.”

“She’s not wrong.” All three of them turn to see Rossi leaning on the other end of Derek’s desk. “Continue with your story, I’ve studied Mind Palaces and Finn’s sounds a lot more interesting than the ones I’ve read about.”

Spencer switches his gaze between all of his coworkers, and opens his mouth, right as Finn hops up from her spot on the floor and stretches her arms across her chest. The team winces at each pop from one of her joints before she bends down to grab the large stack of papers and hand them to Derek. “Or you could all ask me yourselves.”  
Derek takes the stack, leaves through it, and is floored to find all the files not only completed, but completed perfectly. “You finished all my files without any error in, what, five minutes?”

Finn sighs with a small pout. “Damn, must be getting slow. My old record was three.” The team gapes at her, and she shrugs, doing her best to stifle a self-satisfied smirk.  
However Spencer picks up on it and stands to noogie her, messing up her hair further.

“Show off,” he mutters.

“I learned from the best,” she grins back, hissing at him when he flicks her forehead. “Rude.”

“I learned from the best.”

“Wow. WOW. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to recover from that sheer emotional abuse,” Finn says and tries to repress a smile with Spencer doing the same.

“Oh no, someone call CPS.”

“I know, right?” The other agents smile at the pair’s banter before Finn turns to them with a shrug, draining the rest of her coffee. “My Mind Bridge is exactly like a Mind Palace  
except it’s cooler because it’s mine and it’s a bridge.”

“But why a bridge?” David pipes up, raising a brow at the spunky girl he took an immediate liking to. 

Finn shrugs. “I’m me.”

“Could you really not hear us talking?”

“I couldn’t till the end when I finished the paperwork, which now that I think about it I have no idea why I did all of that,” Finn frowns, tapping a black fingernail to her chin.

“Oh right!” Spencer’s face shines with realization as he glances between Finn and her backpack and skateboard she left on the floor. “That reminds me, why did you come here, Finnie?”

Her frown grows, and her brows furrow tightly. All memory of why she made the trip dripping through her fingers the more she reached for it. “I… hm, I don’t remember. That’s fucking annoying--”

“Language!” Reid scolds, flicking her shoulder. 

“Swearing is a sign of higher intelligence according to a study by psychologists from Marist College.” Finn gives him a knowing look and he rolls his eyes as her frown comes back. “But I really can’t remember. I must have deleted it by accident.”

“Like that time you deleted the information that saltwater is undrinkable?”

“It isn’t necessary information. If you try to drink it you’ll find out soon enough.”

“Necessary information - that’s elementary school level science.”

“Exactly. 90% of what kids learn in school is completely useless in the real world according to--”

“Wait, what do you mean ‘delete’?” Derek asks, leaning forwards in his chair towards Finn.

She sighs loudly when the memory still won’t come to her and walks over to her bag to rummage through it, hoping there’s something in there that will give her answers. “My brain is kind of like a computer hard drive. I have a lot of space in it, but there’s no use keeping information I don’t need that just takes up space I need. So I usually delete the useless information, or it deletes itself.” She glances up right before she unzippers the bag, sees the agents’ confused faces, and sighs again. “I have ADHD?”  
David, Derek, and JJ facepalm at the same time, a resounding thwack echoing through the office at the action.

“How did we not pick up on that, we’re profilers!” David exclaims.

“I was raised by the smartest profiler you have,” She grins up at him before finally rummaging through her bag. “It’s not really surprising I know how to fool all of you.”

“Finn!” Spencer exclaims, a bright flush over his cheeks as his coworkers have agreement written all over their faces.

Finn, however, doesn’t acknowledge him as she sees the neatly folded paper back and pulls it out of her backpack with a shout of victory. The memories from this morning before she burned her hand come floating back and she grabs onto them before tying them down. She then stands up to hand her dad the sack. “I brought you lunch.” 

“Aw,” JJ coos. “That’s sweet.”

“Yeah,” Spencer agrees, giving Finn a suspicious look that the girl shrugs innocently at. “It is. Did you poison this?”

She rolls her eyes. “No. We both know if one of us is going to poison someone through cooking it’s going to be you.”

“Says the one who didn’t know saltwater was a thing--”

“That was one time!” Finn exclaims, causing the other agents to laugh. She grudgingly smiles and simply settles for pushing the lunch bag into Spencer’s hands and quickly grabbing her backpack and slinging it over her shoulder before he can hand it back. “Welp, I best be off.”

“Wait what? Where are you going?” The other agents can’t help but notice Spencer’s almost childlike pout before Finn pats him on the head and he bats her hand away.

Suddenly the song ‘Overdose’ by grandson starts blasting from Finn’s back pocket and she curses under her breath as she scrambles to grab it. She glances at the name on the screen, slides left to answer it, and holds the phone up to her ear. “Hey loser, what’s up?” A beat. “No, I haven’t seen him.” Another few beats. “Aw man, really? Well there’s always tomorrow.” A couple seconds of silence. “Yeah, yeah. Bye.” She hangs up, slipping the phone into her back pocket and sighing loudly as she drops her back back onto the floor next to Spencer’s desk. “Scratch that, guess I’m staying here.”

“Who was that?” Spencer asks, raising an eyebrow at his daughter.

Finn shrugs. “One of the guys I play basketball with. Apparently it’s going to rain today so we can’t play until tomorrow.”

“You play basketball?” Derek asks as the girl grabs a swivel chair from a nearby unoccupied desk and pulls it up to the group as the other agents do the same.

“Yeah, Dad used to coach it in high school so he taught me,” she says, then goes to talk again before anyone else can as she moves her chair closer to Reid’s. “Now I’m guessing my dad didn’t really tell you anything besides who and how old I am after the talent show. You’ve got questions, shoot.”

The adults freeze for a second and JJ shrugs, already knowing everything, and heads back to her office, leaving Favid and Derek who face the two geniuses with contemplative looks.

“Alright, hm.” Morgan leans back in his chair. “What was your childhood like?”

“From ages 0-5 I grew up on the campus of Caltech - some of dad’s professors would keep an eye on me and let me help them grade papers while he was in class - then we bounced around for a while with Dad running to a casino from time to time, then he signed up for the BAU at age 22, and here we are,” Finn explains.  
Derek and David consider this, giving Reid an appraising look that he blushes at.

“I really didn’t have any other choice than to bring her to classes with me, and she seemed to like it, so--” the genius starts to explain.

“Reid, it sounds like you did a great job,” Rossi says with a grin directed towards the man, and their resident genius hesitantly smiles. He then turns to Finn. “So, I think you covered this at the… talent show,” Finn laughs, “But what grade are you in?”

“Senior year.” 

Derek looks taken aback. “Really? Shouldn't you be graduating college by now?”

Finn gives Spencer a pointed look, gesturing flamboyantly to Derek before looking back at the older agent. “You’re my favorite person now.”

“Good Lord.” Spencer rolls his eyes and leans back in his chair as well before he pinches the bridge of his nose.

“But seriously, why aren’t you in college?” Morgan asks.

“Because I have the most overprotective dad in the world.” Finn sees the look on Spencer’s face and decides to correct herself. “Okay, fine, Dad wanted me to get some decent martial arts training before I went off to college.”

“That makes sense,” Spencer’s best friend nods, his mind flashing back to when Spencer told him about the field goal incident and--

Derek freezes as the realization that Finn somehow came from that incident fills his mind. He’s so caught up in the sudden stream of answers he doesn’t even realize Rossi asks a bit about Issie before going back to his office. The African American man looks up at Spencer and Finn after a while, and they both immediately understand what he’s thinking.

“Why don’t you come over for dinner tonight?” Finn blurts out, causing Derek and Reid’s heads to snap towards her.

“... What?” Derek blinks, not remembering a single time Reid had ever asked him over.

Finn nods, looking between the two men. “You obviously have more questions, and I can tell Dad wants to talk to you.” A sheepish grin appears. “Plus I want you to bring Clooney over.”

Derek blinks again, and whirls towards Reid. “Did you tell her about Clooney?”

He shakes his head, holding his hands up in surrender and rolling his eyes with a fond look at Finn’s self-satisfied grin. “No, but she’s right, you should come over.” He glances  
at his daughter and sighs. “And you should bring Clooney.”

“Will you come?” Finn asks, such a childlike look of hope in her eyes that she almost seems to be her age for a second.

Derek immediately finds himself caving. “Yeah, sure.” He snaps out of it and turns to Reid. “As long as it’s okay with Spence.”

“I did just agree, didn’t I?” He smiles at his best friend and then looks at his daughter as she stands up.

“Dope, I’m gonna go to the skate park,” she says, hugging Reid quickly and fistbumping Derek before she runs and skateboards out of the office.

“You got a good kid, Spence.”

“I know.”  
***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone who commented! Any feedback is appreciated, and I'd love to know what you guys want to see happen in this story because I want to fill some space before I introduce Emily.


	6. "I'm Alexus."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn gay panics for the first time in her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Sort of sexual innuendos? But barely, quite some tension, rain, flirting

Finn's P.O.V

There’s a lot of skate parks around and inside DC, and they’re nicer than the one I go to, but that makes them boring in my eyes.

The skatepark I frequent is two miles away from the edge of the city in the middle of the woods. Large concrete ramps, metal railings, and carved out tunnels map out the area, and every single inch of them is covered in graffiti that seems to change every day.

I’ve always been fascinated with graffiti, and have even done it a few times in the park myself. Something about the art work style somehow interests me and keeps the boredom from setting in, which is very hard to do. I honestly think it’s a combination of powerful colors and odd shapes that twist and shift almost on their own.

The few people that know about this park just call it ‘The Wood’. The name is a code so there aren’t hundreds of people coming here to ‘clean up the place’ and destroy it in the process. It’s also where I play basketball with the others. Earlier I said I play with teenage boys, which is true, but occasionally there’s a couple girls who tag along with them and we get along well.

The Wood always smells like a combination of cigarettes, pine trees, and gasoline. It makes you feel like you’re the last person on Earth and you spend your time acting like gravity doesn’t exist as you do almost lethal tricks amongst the concrete jungle.

I wasn’t expecting anyone to be at the park today with the rain currently pouring down around me as I rocket up the side of the halfpipe, so I nearly faceplant when I hear someone call my name.

“Um, Finn?” an unfamiliar female voice sounds hesitant through the rain as it reaches my ears. 

I hop off my board, and go to pick it up before the wind howls around me and knocks me on my ass in a giant puddle. Coughs rack through my body as I accidentally inhale some of the mud water, and I gag a bit as I go to scrub it off my cheeks with the palms of my hands.

“Oh shit! Sorry girl,” the voice shouts again, and I hear rubber sliding against concrete. I glance up, see the person in front of me, and curse under my breath as I feel my face go bright red.

Yet despite myself, I let my brain do it’s thing with the usual analysis.

The girl in front of me is African American. She has bronze skin, black eyes, and two eyebrow slits in her left eyebrow. Her curly hair is black at the top with a dark purple color in the middle and bottom, and it’s all pulled back into a messy bun on top of her head. A leather jacket lays over her shoulders on top of a black crop top, and it’s one of the coolest jackets I’ve ever seen. The inside is pastel pink, the sleeves are yellow on top and blue on the bottom, the right side is red, and the left side is green. She’s also wearing black ripped jeans that go up over her hips with a wide black belt at the top with a white buckle that’s the same color as her doc martens.

I get a closer look as she pulls me up, and realize she’s related to Darren thanks to the similar skin color and bone structure. She has to be about 17, 5’9 (an inch taller than me), and about 160 pounds. She’s built differently than me, definitely curvier, and looks to be as much if not more muscular.

I snap out of my thoughts to realize she’s been looking me up and down, inspecting the bruise on my right cheek and my bandages hands, along with my clothes and haircut, and I feel my face heat up more. She seems to notice this, and smirks.

“Why don’t we go stand over there?” she shouts over the howling wind, and gestures to an area under the abandoned bridge on the edge of the park. My eyes are blurry from the rain pelting my face, but I manage a nod and feel my heart jolt as she grabs my hand to lead me over.

Once we make it under the ledge, we’re both breathing heavily thanks to the fight against the wind we managed to win. I slump against the wall and slide down it to sit at the bottom, and after a minute the girl next to me does the same. She lets go of my hand in favor of holding hers out to me. “My name’s Alexus, but you can call me Lex.”

“Finn.” I shake her hand, tilting my head back against the wall to breath deeper. “But I guess Darren already told you that.”

“He told you about me?” Her brows furrow.

I shake my head with a smirk. “Nope.”

“Oh yeah, he told me you were some sort of genius,” she says with a grin, turning slightly so her body faces me as I take my head off the wall.

I shrug, trying to be humble about it, but she must see the smugness in my eyes because she lets out a laugh.

“Alright then, how many siblings do I have?” She tilts her head up in a clear challenge, eyes sparkling with amusement.

My eyes connect with hers, and I scan her. “Five brothers. You’re the youngest.”

I expect her jaw to drop, her eyes to widen, really any shocked reaction. What I’m not expecting is for her to smirk and nod.

“Spot on. You don’t have any siblings and you live with your dad, right?”

I roll my eyes. “Did Darren tell you that?”

“Nope.” She pops the p and winks at my shocked look, laughing as a blush takes over my face. “I’m pretty smart too.”

“I can tell,” I grumble, rubbing at my face and trying to get the blush off my skin, cursing my pale complexion. We both take a second to breathe, staring at the pounding rain.   
I’ve never had a ‘crush’ on someone before. After all, love is just a chemical reaction that urges humans to procreate. A very messy chemical reaction at that. Plus I’ve never had room in my brain to have feelings for anyone, it’s too much effort and all so boring.

But something about the girl next to me definitely isn’t boring.

“So what brings you to The Wood?” I ask, reaching into my backpack in order to grab my water bottle, a hand towel, and a new set of gauze. 

“I was looking for you.” Her eyes watch as I unwrap my hands and we both hiss at the same time at the dark purple bruising on them. “Holy shit what happened to you?”

“I accidentally burnt my hands washing the dishes.” I manage not to wince as I pour water over my hands and dry them with the towel before wrapping them up with different bandages. 

Alexus’s not convinced. “ADHD, huh?”

My head snaps to her. “How…?”

She grins. “I told you I’m pretty smart.”

Despite myself, a laugh escapes me as I finish with my hands. “Yeah, I see that now.” I pause for a second. “So why were you looking for me?”

“Darren talks about you sometimes, and I got curious.” She shrugs and gives me a look. “I think you can understand being bored.”

I sigh and nod. “You can say that again.”

“Plus I was going to ask you to teach me how to skateboard,” she says and we both glance at the rain. “But I guess that won’t be happening.”

I snort, glancing down at my mud covered clothes. “Yeah, probably not.” A gust of wind blows through the area under the bridge, and I shiver in my soaked clothes. Alexus catches this, her black eyes giving my blue ones and knowing look as she gestures to my clothes.

“You must be soaking, why don’t you change?”

“I don’t have a change of clothes.”

She snaps her fingers, and my eyes snap to her face as she goers to rummage through the black backpack next to her. It takes a second or two before she pulls out a pair of fluffy black sweatpants and a small box. She places the pants on top of her bag, and slides a cigarette out of the box before lighting it. Alexus tilts the box towards me, and I go to reach for one before sighing and pulling my hand back. “I have to head home soon and my dad will freak out if he smells cigarettes on me.”

She tilts her head before her eyes snag on the pants and she goes to hand them to me. “I had MMA before this, and I always bring two extra pairs of pants.”

“You do MMA?” I ask, a grin spreading on my face. “Me too!”

She has a matching grin. “No way! With Coach J?”

“Yeah!” I frown at the pants. “But I can’t just take your clothes. Besides, the pants would just get soaked and covered in mud from my jacket.”  
She rolls her eyes, and stands up. I tense, worried I offended her somehow, but then I feel my eyebrows furrow and my face flame up once more when she goes to shrug off her jacket.

Thankfully, she stops there, and sits back down next to me now in a crop top. She then places the pants in the jacket and forces the bundle into my hands. The jacket smells like The Wood with some cinnamon sprinkled in.

“You can take my clothes, and you will. There are no apartment buildings or houses anywhere near here, so I know you’ll have to walk all the way home. So for Satan’s sake put on the damn clothes.” Her voice has a ‘argue with me and I will be forcing this jacket over your head’ vibe, and I’m honestly too cold and mud-covered to argue. I give her a grateful look before securing my grip on the bundle and standing up.

Alexus’s eyes stay on me as I go to take off my jacket, and I give her a pointed look. She sighs, holds her hands up in surrender, and covers her eyes with them. “Fine, fine, I won’t look.”

I watch her for a second, making sure she’s keeping her promise, before I shift on my feet. My eyes flick around the skatepark to make sure no one else is there. Once I’m sure there’s no one, I slide off my mud-soaked jacket, tie, and shirt all in one move, leaving me in my sports bra and pants.

It’s at that point I notice Alexus going to break her promise by teasingly peeking through her fingers and I gently throw my jacket-shirt bundle at her. I apparently threw it a bit harder than I thought because it collides with her face and makes a thwop sounds as she falls backwards.

“Oh crap are you okay?” I throw her jacket on before rushing forwards and starting to give her a hand up.

She looks disgruntled at first before taking in my appearance and winking. “Never better.” I roll my eyes, letting go of her hand so she falls back onto the ground. “Rude!”

“Don’t look this time.” I give her a slight glare nowhere mean as I can be as I zip up the jacket, realizing she’s making no attempt to sit up as she covers her eyes. 

“Okay, okay, I promise this time,” she says, and I can tell she means it despite the smile on her face.

After that I quickly change out of my jeans, throw on the pants, and take off my socks as well before putting my boots back on. I use my tie like a bandana to secure my hair back, and leave it there as I tap Alexus on the shoulder.

She sits up, brushes the dirt off her shoulders, and a teasing smile takes over her face as she sees me. “Aw, you look adorable.”

“Oh shut it.” The jacket is pretty big on me, and reaches my mid-thigh. The pants are pretty large as well, but that’s really just because I’m nearly as thin as a piece of paper, and hang almost too low on my hips, making me tie the string impossibly tight.

She opens her mouth, but we both freeze at the sound of my phone buzzing in my bag. I scramble to get it and flip it open right as the person hangs up, and I cuss at the notifications.

“What’s up?” Lex asks, going to look over my shoulder, but thankfully not touching me. It’s not that I don’t want her touching me (I don’t typically like strangers touching me in general), but if she does I may burst into flames. 

I tilt the phone screen towards her and we both read it at the same time. ‘14 missed calls from ‘Dad’.’

I check the time. “Fucker, it’s already 6 pm? I have to be home in five minutes!”

I go to scramble to my feet and gather all my shit as Lex furrows her brows and stands up too. “What, you have a curfew at six o’ five?”

“No, my Dad’s friend is coming over at six thirty and I can’t leave them alone.” I take in her confused look. “My dad’s not exactly good at social situations.”

“Well where do you live?”

Another curse. “About ten miles from here.”

She nods, then grabs her backpack and slings it over her shoulder. Her hand is put out to stop me as I go to skate away, and I follow her finger to see a bright red pickup truck a few yards into the rain. “Let me give you a ride.” I go to protest, and she puts her finger to my lips. “I think my house is near yours. Besides, you won’t get there until eight in this weather.” I’m still unsure, and apparently it shows because she crosses her arms. “You can owe me skateboarding lessons tomorrow, deal?”

I glance up at her, over to the car, and give a hesitant grin. “Okay, deal.”

She smiles widely at me and grabs my hand - and there goes my face again - before we sprint through the rain to her truck.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who commented! Every comment gives me so much inspiration to write a new chapter, I wrote this one in a day.
> 
> Any feedback/suggestions are appreciated!


	7. You're a bit of a gay disaster aren't you, babe? (short chapter)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn is a gay disaster.

Finn P.O.V

“So what kind of music do you vibe with?” Lex asks once we’re driving at a slow pace down the highway. The taller girl explained to me earlier that she has a pretty bad habit of speeding, to which I rattled off car crash statistics. I eventually stopped myself, waiting for her to tell me that was annoying, but instead she nodded with a smile, told me she thought as much, and told me I was really smart. Which I’m used to hearing, but my face betrayed me again and I sulked for a good few minutes as she burst out laughing.

I pause, tapping my finger and glancing between the radio and the large pentagram earrings dangling from her earlobes. The leather jacket rustles as I move, bringing my attention back to it and how cold I am in the car. Lex must realize this, but she doesn’t say anything and reaches to turn off the A/C while keeping her eyes on the road.

Thinking I have nothing left to lose, I take this opportunity to try and confirm (not that I don’t know already) where she is on the sexuality scale. “I like Hayley Kiyoko and Pan!c at the Disco, but I mess around with King Princess.” My eyes flick over to her and I wait for some sort of confused reaction. Instead I relax against the back of the car seat when she turns and gives me a wide smile, flashing pearly white, slightly crooked teeth at me.

“Lesbian?”

I look her up and down fast, taking in the earrings, eyebrow slits, outfit, car interior (she has rainbow seat covers), lesbian flag bumper sticker, and ‘Move I’m Gay’ tshirt in the back seat, but I still find myself unsure.

“... Yeah. You?” My fingers fidget with the zippers on her jacket and I watch her carefully as I really hope she doesn’t give a negative reaction.

She brings her left foot up on the seat, resting her knee against the window and her elbow on top of it before glancing at me. “You’re a genius. You tell me.” I tense for a moment, but there’s no bite in her words.

“Um,” I pause, breathing for a second to ground myself from the dizzying mix of the smell of cloves in the car and the white noise from the radio. My hand extends and turns down the volume, and Lex tracks it. “I don’t like the white noise.”

She blinks. “I didn’t even notice.” Her head shakes and she nudges me with her shoulder. “C’mon girl genius, what am I?”

“I don’t know.”

“Yes you do.” Lex’s black eyes crinkle at me. “You’re a bit of a gay disaster, aren’t you babe?”

A coughing fit takes over me at the last word and Lex howls with laughter, and gently pats the back of my neck as I start to breath easier. As soon as I can breathe again, I   
gently whack her arm.

“That was mean.” 

She laughs louder, having a hard time keeping her eyes on the road, and I pout, turning to look out the window with a huff.

Lex realizes what I’m doing after a bit and turns to me with a small smile. “Aw, c’mon kid, don’t be like that.” No answer. “I was just kidding.” Still no answer. “I’m a lesbian, y’know.” Nothing. “I’ll play Taylor Swift--” 

She reaches out to touch the radio but I grab her wrist and look her in the eyes. “Don’t you dare.”  
Lex grins and returns her hand to the steering wheel, but rolls her eyes when I keep frowning. “If I let you control the aux will you stop pouting?”

“...Maybe.”

“Fine, go ahead and plug your phone in.”

“Yes!”

Not a second later and Verbatim by Mother Mother is blasting through the car with Lex and I screaming along to it.

‘I wear womens’ underwear, and then I go to strike a pose in my full length mirror, I cross my legs just like a queer…’

****

“Here we are, girly.” Lex puts the car in park in front of my bright red apartment building. “Just a minute past six o’ five.”

“Thanks for the ride.” I give her a smile and hop out of the car, crossing in front of it and starting to walk towards the front entrance.  
“Wait!” 

I glance back at the car, and see Lex gesturing for me to come over. My eyes flick up to the fifth floor window where I know my dad is definitely watching me and sigh before jogging back over.

As soon as I’m in arms distance of the car, Lex’s hand extends to gently but firmly grab my shirt collar. She hauls me towards the car, and I panic for a second, thinking I’m about to get murdered by a really cute girl, before something maybe even worse happens.

My eyes catch hers and she grins at my nerves before twisting her head to plant a kiss on my cheek. Her lips are warm and I feel some of her black lipstick leave a mark on my pale skin before she releases my shirt and I stumble onto the sidewalk out of shock.

She winks at my tomato red face and smirks. “Meet me at The Wood tomorrow to get your clothes back.”

She speeds off and I find myself questioning if there is a God because if so they're awesome right now.  
***

A/N I think this chapter is cute and I'm low key proud of it.  
Also this is totally how me and my friends act when talking to a cute girl so this is speaking from dumbass experience.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a short chapter, I know. I'll post the rest after I work out.


	8. I... have a phone call to take

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn and Reid get into an argument and it gets personal way too quickly.  
> Derek makes up a fake phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY CRAP READ THE WARNINGS I STARTED WRITING THIS AND IT GOT A LOT DARKER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD!!
> 
> WARNINGS: Mentions of past drug addiction, mentions of drugs, arguing, emotions, these characters are so effed up, poor Finn, poor Reid, uncomfortable Derek, not abuse but Reid shoves Finn, read end of chapter notes for a summary.

Finn P.O.V

I walk into the apartment, kicking my shoes off at the door, and close the door as silently as possible, hoping I can sneak off to my room and change before my Dad notices I’m home. He’s definitely going to question where I’ve been, but he won’t be nearly as angry if I’m in my own clothes.

However when I turn around, the only word that comes to mind is ‘fuck’.

The apartment is clean for once without my having done it. All the documents, case files, photo albums, and paperwork that usually clutters up the floor has been moved somewhere. And judging by an old health form next to the welcome mat, I can tell they’ve all been shoved in the small coat closet to my left. The blankets and pillows are picked up and folded neatly over the couch and sofa chairs that have a few remotes scattered amongst them here and there. Chinese food hits my nose and then my eyes from it’s place on the tidy kitchen table.

But what really catches my attention are the two grown men in front of me.

Derek is here, and his eyes are glancing in every direction. He clearly just arrived a minute or so before I did which I can tell from his damp shirt and socks and the way he’s trying to take everything in. He seems pretty calm, and even a bit amused, which is a relief. Maybe he can help calm down the raging tornado that is my father right now.  
My dad looks… I don’t think furious is the right word, but it comes close. His mouth is agape, brows furrowed over his eyes, he’s drawn up to his full height, and he has his arms crossed over his sweater vest. Pretzel sock-clad feet are tapping quickly against the floor.

“Where were you?” he asks as soon as he realizes I’m staring at them. His voice sounds strange, almost strained.

“I was at the skatepark.” My brows furrow. I know my dad is overprotective, but I don’t know why he’s so freaked over this.

“What skatepark? Because it certainly wasn’t the one down the street that I assumed you meant when you told me you were going there! And,” he glances behind me, “where’s   
Issie? I thought she was going with you!”

My face burns at my dad scolding me in front of his coworker, and I feel my blood start to boil. I cough it away and straighten up myself. “I was at the one near the BAU.”

“The BA- Finn that’s miles from the city! What was your plan to get home?” he cries.

Derek starts to get uncomfortable with the energy in the room, and he excused himself under ‘needing to make a phone call’ before shuffling out into the hallway. He pats me on the shoulder and mutters a ‘good luck kid’ before the door clicks softly shut behind him.

“I don’t know, walk like I normally do?” My voice is starting to rise now, and I have to be careful before I completely lose control. But for some reason my emotions seem to be winning at this point.

His jaw touches the floor. “You mean you’ve done this before?”

“What, go to the skate park? Yes! You know that.”

“I didn’t know you weren’t going to the one near here!”

“The one near here is full of teenagers that don’t skate and chainsmoke for hours!”

“How do you know they do that? Have you been smoking-”

“What?” I sound as shocked as possible, and it’s not hard with the sudden wave of adrenaline I’m riding. “No I’m not smoking- Dad, I don’t know if you realize this, but I’m kind   
of a genius. Though it doesn’t take one to smell a bunch of pot.”

“You know, for such a genius, sometimes you sure don’t think like one.”

Smoke billows out of my ears, and I see the same thing happen to dad. “I went to the skate park! It’s not like I went to a crack house-”

“Watch your language!”

“It’s a place. It’s not even a bad word!”

“How do you even know what a crack house is?”

Flames join the smoke. “Because I’ve picked you up from one before!”

Silence.

We stare at each other, matching blue eyes meeting in almost pure shock in light of what just fell out of my mouth. A phrase I didn’t even know I was capable of saying.  
Of course, it’s true. I have picked my dad up from a crack house before, it’s how I found out about his Dilaudid addiction. One of the more harmless stoners there knows Darren’s dad, and knows me by default. He saw my dad at the house and called Darren’s dad, who called Darren, who called me. I then burst a blood vessel, ran over to the house, grabbed my dad, thanked the stoner profusely and asked him not to mention this to anyone, brough dad back home, and signed him up for a rehab program the next day.

“At least I don’t retreat into my mind the minute things get challenging.” Is the quiet reply I hear from across the room.

My heart sinks to my feet.

“What?” The voice is too calm, way too calm, and way too steady to belong to me. But it does. A strange wave of pure… something takes over my body, and I feel my breathing slow down. My thudding heart takes a chill pill as well, and I feel my muscles go slack. I’m right at the edge of my Mind Bridge and if Derek wasn’t outside I’d be there already.

Dad’s gaze is steady, but I see tears behind his eyes. Under normal circumstances I’d feel guilt, but right now, soaked to the bone, exhausted, and dissociating… I’m numb. “Finn…” he starts, but trails off.

I have no idea where any of this aggression is coming from. Dad and I argue a bit about his overprotective side, but never like this. It seems years of shoved down aggression and resentment are finally surfacing at what could possibly be the worst time ever.

“At least I didn’t leave my eight year old daughter alone for days at a time.” I take a step forward, eyes blank. “At least I didn’t get kidnapped and leave her alone for a week while I developed a drug addiction.” My eyes are starting to burn but I choke back the tears. “At least I don’t yell at her whenever she does anything any normal teen would do.”

He holds back his tears too. “You’re so irresponsible sometimes--”

“Oh, and you’re not?” I start pacing back and forth in front of him, body stiff as a board. “Every single case you go on you manage to get hurt. Every single one. Because you throw yourself into danger with no regard for your safety! You got kidnapped because you and JJ split up and you ran off while she called for backup! You think I’m irresponsible? Who do you think I get it from--”

Dad’s eyes shine and I swear they flash red for a second, the same color as his cheeks. He clenches his fists, staring at the ground until I’m finished talking. Once I do, his whole body starts shaking, his eyes connect with mine, and he scowls.

He never scowls at me. In my general direction in a sarcastic way, sure, but never at me.

Before I know what’s happening, hands are shoving me backwards. They don’t shove me that hard, but because I wasn’t expecting the sudden blow I stumble back and trip over the welcome mat. 

My neck snaps back and I shriek as my left eye hits the doorknob. The contact sends a horrible stab of pain into my skull and I yelp like a kicked puppy and grab at my eye   
before I scramble to sit with my back against the wall.

The door nearly slams open as Derek rushes into the apartment just to gape between Reid and I.

Reid’s hand is over his mouth, and tears are dripping down his face. “Finn! Oh god I am so, so, so sorry. I didn’t mean to push you. Let me see--” He reaches for me the same time as Derek, but I shove both their hands away and scramble to my feet. I do my best to ignore the drum in my chest that’s making my body shake in favor of turning to Derek.

“Dinner’s cancelled,” is all I manage to say with the shakiest voice ever, before I sprint out of the apartment and slam the door behind me.  
****  
I knock on the bright green door before I return both hands to my left eye and try to ignore the prickly pain in both eyes.

Issie had been the first person I called when I found myself on the streets of DC. By some miracle I managed to speak with her calmly and ask if I could sleep over that night. She had given me a regretful no, since her cousins were over, and asked if we were still on for tomorrow. I, regretfully, was a bit rude and answered with a curt no before finding myself at Darren’s apartment.

Alexus is the one that opens the door, and she has a huge smile on her face as she does until she catches sight of me. “Oh my God, Finn?” Her cry draws the attention of her four brothers, including Darren, and their father. 

Lex reaches out for me, and before I know it I'm latching onto the girl's warmth and shivering in her now-soaked jacket and pants. 

It’s only when she tucks my head under her chin do I let tears fall for the first time since that day on the roof.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Daaaaang feeling a bit angsty? Maybe.  
> 👀  
> Hope you enjoyed! And thank you for all the feedback I love hearing your suggestions!
> 
> SUMMARY:  
> So basically Finn came home late, Reid was angry, they started arguing, Derek excused himself, and things got way too personal after Finn brought up Reid's drug addiction and he countered with her Mind Bridge. The two get into an argument that cuts really deep and ends with Finn asking Reid 'so I'm irresponsible? Where do you think I get it from?" and he ends up pushing her. He doesn't push her all that hard, but the force shocks her enough to trip over the welcome matt and hit her eye on the doorknob. Reid is horrified and what he did, and goes to help her, but she shoves his hands away. Derek had rushed in at the bang and is now staring in shock at Reid. Finn turns to the taller man, tells him dinner's cancelled, and leaves to sleep at Darren's house (after calling and asking Issie without telling her why but the answer was a regretful no because Issie is still with her cousins). She shows up to Darren's unnanounced, and apon her friend answering the door, bursts into tears for the first time since her dad found her on the roof.


	9. If this ever happens again.... (Darren's a real one)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid panics and Darren calls him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the comments! Comment when you want to happen next, and I can promise that I'll include almost everything (I do have some plans)

Third Person P.O.V

“Reid, what the hell man?” Derek yells, unable to control himself after his best friend’s daughter fleed the room with her hands clutching what’s sure to be a black eye by tomorrow. The girl had basically told Derek to go the hell home with her statement of ‘dinner’s cancelled’, but for some reason the older agent couldn’t bring himself to leave. By all means he shouldn’t have even been here for their fight, but now that he is almost nothing is going to make him leave. Not when it seems like there’s a lot more Reid and   
Finn haven't told the team, or even each other, judging by the argument he heard through the door.

Yes, Derek heard the whole argument. He didn’t mean to listen, but the two were being very loud, and it was too interesting not to eavesdrop on. The agent was shocked when Finn brought up Reid’s drug habit, sure his best friend would have done everything in his power to keep her away from that side of him. However now guilt eats at his heart when he realizes Finn and Reid could have been saved from a lot of pain if he or the team had approached the genius about it.

Morgan whirls, ready to tear into Reid and remind him of how Carl (an abusive old football coach of Derek’s) screwed him up, only to freeze at the sight of his best friend.  
Reid feels like he might throw up. Hot tears trail down his cheeks and his body spasms with quiet sobs as he stares at the door. The guilt in his stomach is so strong it pains him, and he almost doubles over.

He hurt Finn.

He hurt Finn.

Of course he didn’t mean to lash out, he certainly didn’t mean to make the girl trip and get a black eye, he just wanted to push her out of his personal space before he totally lost his mind. But Spencer of all people knows that’s no excuse. He had promised when Finn was first born he would never treat her like his mother did, and here he is now.

Derek feels the slightest bit bad for his best friend before an overwhelming determination takes over. “Reid, why’d you give Finn a black eye?”

This snaps Spencer out of it and he rips his hand away from his mouth. “Omigosh you think that’ll be a black eye? I didn’t hit her! I pushed her out of my personal space and she tripped Derek, but it’s all my fault! I hurt my daughter--” Reid crumbles, almost falling to the ground as a wave of sobs shakes his frame. 

Morgan catches his best friend just in time and manages to move them both over to the couch. His head reels at the new information and it takes a while of Reid crying into his shoulder for Derek to get his crap together.

“Okay, okay,” he mumbles, rubbing a reassuring hand over Spencer’s shoulder. “You didn’t mean to hurt her, I get it. But Finn probably doesn’t.”

Spencer’s crying comes to an abrupt halt at this, and he jumps to shaky feet, rushing to to the front door as the image of Finn’s pain-filled face fills his head and that night on the roof appears right after it. “On no! I have to go after her--”

Derek catches him around the waist and stops Reid in his tracks. “Reid, I get that you’re worried man, but trust me, the kid just needs some time.” He looks at his best friend, waiting for him to give in and agree, before Reid shocks him.

“No! No, you don’t get it!” He shouts, getting more and more frantic as he all but shoves Derek out of the way. “Tonight’s a huge danger night for her! I don’t think I’d survive it if she actually succeeded this time--” He’s cut off by the sound of his phone ringing, and Reid scrambles for it. He narrows his eyes at the unknown number before answering it and holding it up to his ear. “Hello? Finn?”

“Hey Mr. Reid.” A distinctly male voice drifts over the phone, an undercurrent of aggression and weariness in his voice.

“Who is this? How do you know my name?” Derek looks at read for that statement, but the genius waves him off.

“Oh! I’m Darren, I play basketball with Finn. My sister dropped her off at your apartment earlier before your… disagreement.” Reid’s heart sinks and bile rises in his throat, but he ignores it. “Yeah, Finn’s with us and she’s gonna sleep over here. She told me to tell you she’s not gonna throw herself off a building or anything, and we’re keeping an eye on her. She said she doesn’t know when she wants to go home and we couldn’t get any other answers before she passed out. So… um, don’t worry, I guess?” He pauses and Reid hears fingers snap before Darren’s voice gets darker. “Oh yeah, and no disrespect Doctor Reid, Finn told us this is was an accident, but if it wasn’t and this happens again… well the kid’s managed to befriend the entire high school football and basketball teams of four different schools.”

The dial goes dead and Reid collapses on the couch, sighing as he sinks into it and Derek takes his place next to him.

“Reid,” he speaks up after a moment. “Who was that? And what do you mean by danger night?”  
*****

I know this is shorter, and I'm sorry! The next chapter should be longer and it's about Finn and Alexus meeting up with Issie.


	10. Wanna get married?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tooth rotting fluff, cursing, Finn has a self discovery moment.

Finn P.O.V

I wake up with a jolt and sit up as fast as possible. I scramble around, panic when I can’t open my eyes, go to touch them, and hiss at the resulting stabbing pain from the right one. 

There’s hands on my shoulders when I try to get up out of the bed that’s too soft to be mine and I struggle against them until something cold and damp gets placed over my eyes. I freeze as it soothes the headache I didn’t even register at first, then relax as memories from last night fill my head while the smell of Darren’s house fills my nose.

“Woah, chill out kid,” Alexus’s voice comes from in front of me, but I ignore the flames I’m sure dance around my face as I do my best to feel out my surroundings.

I’m in a soft, full-size bed with what feels like way too many pillows behind me. The two in direct contact with my back and head as Alexus pushes me back are firm while the other four are so soft they’re practically just bags half-filled with fluff. Alexus’s jacket is still around my torso but there’s now a t-shirt under it and I’m dressed in a different pair of sweatpants. The flames increase in intensity as I realize whoever helped me change out of my soaked clothes would have seen all my scars, but I push that thought aside.  
There’s a light blanket draped over my legs that I had thrown away from me when I woke up, but I’m grateful it’s not that heavy thanks to the embarrassment boiling in my stomach.

I guess Alexus is the only person in the room, because I can only feel one pair of eyes on me. My hands reach up and replace hers on the cold washcloth and I pull my knees up to my chest after a few moments of tense silence.

She sighs and I feel the mattress dip down by sockless feet still under the mattress.

“What do you remember?” Her voice is quiet, cautious.

I can’t bring myself to answer as the boiling in my stomach turns into a lump in my throat.

“Kid?”

Silence.

“C’mon Finn, what’s wrong?” She sounds in pain and it’s enough for the lump to loosen.

I cringe as memories from last night get sharper and I reach under the washcloth to feel my swollen eye and the other puffy one - probably from crying. “‘S embarrassing.”  
Lex is silent until she’s falling back on the bed with a loud sigh. I jump at the action and take the washcloth off my face in order to open my ‘good’ eye at her. Though it’s still hard thanks to my dumb body not being accustomed to crying.

It opens to let me see Lex in all her glory giving me a half-hearted glare from her reclined place in front of me. Her curls are splayed out all around her head and she’s dressed in an oversized deadpool shirt and some flannel pants that go past her ankles. I glance down at the floor, see an air mattress with a bunch of messed up blankets and two pillows, and feel a pang go through my stomach.

She follows my gaze and taps my calf. “Relax, I like sleeping on the floor, it’s warmer down there.” A part of me wanted to tell her she could have slept with me but I shove that deep deep down as the exasperated look returns to her. “Is that really what’s wrong? You’re embarrassed?” I don’t answer and place the washcloth over my bruised eye before I turn away. 

Alexus cranes her neck, trying to force me to make eye contact, but when I refuse, she sits up.

“... Well why are you embarrassed?” She doesn’t seem to know what to say but settles on that before reaching for the washcloth. I hold it out but she doesn’t take it and instead gently prods at my eye, tilting my head left and right in order to look at it. She pulls a first aid kit out of nowhere and starts dabbing some sort of gel on my eye.

I tap my fingers quickly against my thigh, a nervous tic, as I think. “I don’t like crying. It’s a sign of weakness.

“No it isn’t.” Lex’s rebuttal is immediate.

“Yes it is,” I huff. “I should’ve been able to handle it without breaking down. I was just running down the street a-and there was lots of p-people and sounds and smells and they were everywhere and people were touching me and--” I cut off and force myself to breathe deeply, the tapping getting faster against my thigh to the point where it starts to hurt.

“Okay, okay.” Alexus manages to stay calm and tries to keep eye contact with me. “Is this okay?” She gestures to her hand placing the gel on my bruise and I wave her off.

“Y-yeah.” I curse the stutter I thought I grew out of it. “I just - I hate strangers touching me. And I hate certain sounds and smells.”

“Oh okay,” Lex says, going back to my eye, hers flickering to my good one. “What sounds and smells - if you don’t mind me asking.” I shrug, face beginning to burn, but Lex catches on quickly. “Relax Finn, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about, trust me. I’m pretty sure you’ve picked up on the fact that I have no qualms teasing people, and the fact that I’m not picking on you right now has to mean something.”

I nod. “O-okay. Well, um, they usually aren’t that bad unless I’m overwhelmed. I like the smell of cigarettes because they’re familiar, but I hate the smell of alcohol. It’s really random, the things that bother me when I’m freaked out. Any loud talking or arguing is usually pretty bad. Um, I don’t like sneakers squeaking on pavement or the sound of fabric rubbing together. I can’t stand the sound of someone brushing their teeth, it’s really gross. I don’t like the fabric that sacks are made of, that scratchy stuff. Hay and plastic over cushions are also terrible…” I rack my brain as Lex hangs on to my every word. “Um, yeah that’s pretty much it. Sweet Satan now that I hear it all out loud it sounds like I’m insane--”

“Nah, that makes sense, actually.” Lex says, then continues when I give her a confused look. “Well listen because I’m not trying to be offensive at all, but you’re really smart, and geniuses tend to have Aspergers or something similar.”

I freeze, brain comprehending this, before my jaw drops. “Holy shit that makes so much sense.” My hand stops it’s taps and both of them go to grasp at my face. “Fuck that actually really makes sense, shit.”

Les gently peels my nails away from my face and makes eye contact. “What do you mean? Are you panicking right now?”

“What? No - I don’t think so, just--” I go grab my face again but she keeps my hands firmly in her grasp and I almost melt as she starts to rub her thumb over my knuckles. “A lot of things are starting to make sense.”

“... Wanna explain?”

I nod. “Yeah, I need to say all this aloud anyways.” I glance at her. “I’m assuming Darren told you about that day on the roof?”

Her grip tightens, but not painfully. “Yes. Please never do that again.”

“I have no plans to. Anyways, so I have depression and a lot of anxiety, right?”

“I’ve picked up on that, yeah.”

“Well those are two symptoms of Aspergers. Other symptoms are fidgeting--”

“The tapping.”

“Impulsivity--”

“Running to our house last night.”

“Social isolation--”

“I heard from Darren it took weeks for you to actually talk to them.”

“Tics - my hands shake, my leg bounces, and on really bad days my head snaps back,” I explain at her confused look. “Holy shit, seriously, how did I not notice this sooner.”   
She keeps a grounding hold on my hands and I take a deep breath. “Intense interest in a number of things--”

“Yeah that checks.”

“Artistic interests,” I say, but she looks confused. “Music.”

“No way, you sing?”

“And play guitar.”

“Wanna get married?”

I choke on air and she bursts into laughter as I try desperately to get my breath back. “Lex!”

“Kidding, kidding!” She giggles. “Sorry! Please continue.”

I give her a half-assed glare. “Poor social skills.” Alexus looks abashed and doesn’t say anything, but I give her a look. “Oh come on it’s a miracle my face hasn’t caught on fire   
yet.”

She snorts and we look at each other before both collapsing into giggles. Lex manages to tumble off the bed and faceplant into the floor and a roar of laughter escapes me before I join her.

We stay on the floor for a bit, calming down, before she turns her head to look at me.

“Well my parents and brothers are all out of the house.”

“So…?” I ask, nerves exploding in my chest.

She grins. “Wanna make hot chocolate, check in with your dad, and watch some Sherlock?”

“I’m starting to reconsider that marriage thing."

She grins, and before I can do anything, soft lips make contact with the tip of my nose and she jumps to her feet. Going to start the hot cocoa and leaving me red-faced on her bedroom floor.  
*******

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments! I love reading and responding to them!


	11. So if I DID ask...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Issie meets Alexus and Lex and Finn have a dorky moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love this chapter, the ending is so cute.

Finn P.O.V

“So, um, who is this?” Issie asks, gesturing to Alexus.

Alexus and I arrived at The Wood an hour or two ago at 2pm after a morning of junk food and Sherlock. I called my Dad and as soon as he picked up he was immediately stuttering out apologies that I matched with my own. He apologized for pushing me, and I apologized for running off, and then Derek told me not to do that again because it worried Dad to death (I teased him for being a mom) and I agreed, then we hung up with the promise I’d meet the two of them at a local Chinese place for dinner tonight. After hanging up on my dad, Alexus had squeezed me in a hug, before we returned our attention to the sociopath known as Moriarty.

Alexus told me in complete confidence he’s the only reason she’s not a full on lesbian.

Issie arrived an hour after we got to the skatepark, and fussed over my eye a lot, as expected. What I didn’t expect, however, was her being so skeptic about Lex. As soon as I introduced the two, they eyed each other up and down with the same competitive look that I rolled my eyes at.

Of course I can tell what both of them are feeling. They’re both confused, skeptical, and… jealous? That last one doesn’t make sense to me but I push it off.

“I’m Alexus, like Finn just told you,” Lex all but hisses, and I can’t help but notice she didn’t offer her nickname. Clearly a power move that exasperates me to no end.

Issie’s no better as she crosses her arms. “Yeah, I heard her, but why are you together?”

I open my mouth to protest being left out of this conversation, but I never get the chance.

“She came to my house last night after the…” Darren’s sister pauses as her eyes flicker to mine with a wince at my black one. “Disagreement with her dad. We really gotta ice that, babe.”

“I’m sorry, babe?” Issie exclaims, and I furrow my brows at her, not sure where the agitation is coming from as she turns to look at me too. “You two are dating now?”

My face heats up and I say “No!” at the same time Alexus crosses her arms and asks “Why does that matter?” I face her with an astonished look on my flaming face, but she pointedly ignores it.

My best friend stutters. “It doesn’t matter! Why would it matter?”

“Well it seems to matter to you.”

“I’m her best friend! Of course it matters!”

“So it does matter.”

“What do you know? You’ve known Finn for like a day-”

“Yet she came to my house last night.”

“She went to Darren’s house last night, not yours.”

“Then why’d she call me?”

“She did not!”

“Oh yes she did.”

“Why on Earth would she call you--”

“Oh for the love of Satan, shut the hell up!” I blurt out and clap my hands over my mouth immediately afterwards at their looks of pure shock. We’ve started to attract the attention of the totally stoned out teenagers a few yards away, and I curse under my breath. My hands grab each of my friend’s collars and I pull them in the direction of the bridge that we eventually stop under. 

“Okay, listen here.” I turn to both of them, but then focus on Issie while gesturing between Alexus and I. “We are not dating.” I ignore Alexus’s hurt look. “And even if we were,   
I don’t understand why it would matter! Also, I did call you first, Iss, but you were busy with your cousins and I didn’t want to bother you!”

My best friend groans before nodding, taking this in. “I… guess that makes sense. So, you really aren’t dating?”

“No!” Alexus looks even more hurt and I rush to explain. “She hasn’t asked me or anything, so we’re just friends.”

Darren’s sister’s hurt gets replaced by what looks like sheer chaos. “Sooooo, you’re saying if I did ask you--” She sees my stern look. “Okay, okay, not the time. I get that.”  
I face my best friend. “So… are we good?”

She sighs, brushes her curls away from her face, and yanks me into a hug. “Yeah, I guess. But next time, just tell me and don’t assume I’m busy, okay?”

“Or you could just do the exact same thing and come to my house again.” Alexus winks at me over Issie’s shoulder and my best friend squeezes me tighter before I push her away.

I sigh, looking between the two and taking in Alexus’s taller height, Issie’s thinner build, and the fact that they both look ready to murder each other. I’m about to yell at them when suddenly my phone goes off and I see it’s almost 5:30.

“Shit!” A hopeless look is on my face and I turn it to Lex who melts at the sight. “I’m almost late for dinner. Can I have a ride?” She nods and goes to grab my bag as I turn to Issie. “Do you need a ride?” 

Lex freezes at that statement and so does my best friend before the two exchange a look and seem to come to a mutual hatred. “Nah, I’m good.” Issie hugs me one more time. “Just, be careful okay?”

I smile at her as Lex starts to pull me away. “Don’t worry, I will.”  
***********  
The atmosphere in the car is tense as soon as we start driving through the woods. I never really understood before when books used to say you could cut the atmosphere with a knife, but now I get it. In fact, I’m tempted to take the switchblade I know Lex has in her cupholder and cut a hole in the wall of suspense between our chairs.  
I never got my driver’s license, mostly because I’m fifteen, but also because Emily tried to teach me to drive once and I almost drove us over a cliff. However I have observed the way people drive over the years. Lex drives with her left foot on the chair and her knee pressed against the driver’s door. Her left elbow gets places on her knee with her chin on her fist and the right hand lazily taps against the wheel.

The way my body is positioned is a little different. I sit cross-legged in the passenger seat with my phone in my lap as I fiddle with my Hamilton pop socket.  
Needing some sort of noise, I reach for the radio and start scrolling through the channels. My body flinches at every round of static until Lex rolls her eyes and punches the radio. The little screen flickers before Reckless by Healy plays from the speakers.

The car screeches to a stop, and my head snaps up to see we stopped in the middle of the makeshift road right next to a sparkling river that’s glowing in the setting sun.

“Fuck it,” Lex announces before scooching in her seat to face me. “Finn, this is literally the most stereotypical place ever to do this, but just roll with me for a sec, yeah?”

My thumping heart starts to drown our her words, but I force down the reaction and nod instead.

The girl’s black eyes focus on mine and she starts to fidget with her pentagram necklace. Her gaze flickers to the scenery around us and she curses once more before returning her attention to me. “Okay, this isn’t going to be the best thing you’ve ever heard because, I know I’m smart, but you’re 100 times smarter and I already know anything I could possibly say now has already crossed your brain so I’ll sum it up.” She clears her throat and takes a sip of coffee with a shaking grip. “Finn, you’re a genius. And I know I’ve already said it, but it’s true, and it kinda scares me, but in a good way. You’re really pretty, and sarcastic, and funny, and--”

I hold up my hand before placing both of the appendages over my flaming face. “Please, my face can’t take much more of this.”

Lex melts. “See! You’re adorable too! -Anyways,” she cuts off my sure-to-come protest. “I really like you, and I’m like 50% sure you like me too - you’re pretty hard to read, but I know you get flustered easily - sowillyougoonadatewithme?” The girl squeezes her eyes shut, leaning back so we’re almost the same height like she’s waiting for me to punch her.

A smile bigger than any I’ve had since the Roof starts to make my cheeks ache, and I lean forwards to kiss her on the cheek. Relieved to find her face as warm as mine.

Her right eye blinks open and it’s full of hope. “So….?”

I roll my eyes and lean back into my seat, the smile still aching. “Yes.”

Her face morphs to match mine as she settles in her driving position and starts up the car, pulling back onto the road. “Wicked.”

A few moments of slightly awkward silence pass before something touches my hand. I glance down, seeing Lex’s right hand next to my left while her other is on the wheel. She has her eyes deadly focused on the road in front of us even as she laced her fingers through mine and shows me my hand. “Mine now.”

I kiss the back of her hand without thinking and grin when a blush forms on her face. “Ditto.”

A pause as I remember our argument from earlier.

“Mycroft Holmes IS a lil bitch though.”

“Don’t you FUCKING start, babe.”

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Any comments/suggestions are so appreciated! They helped me get the motivation to write this in a day.


	12. Chapter 11 So what have you been up to?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter! I had five tests this week.

“Hi Dad, hi Derek, sorry I’m late!” I whisper-shout as I approach their booth in the back corner of Alberto’s, the best pizza place in all of Washington DC. Well, of course, I have a way to prove that a restaurant is the best in the city, but that involves eating way too much pizza for my liking, so I just claim it’s the best. With the red booth cushions with little rips here and there along the covers, the diner-like tables, the white walls covered in records and signed pictures of famous musicians, and an old jukebox right next to the black counter, Alberto’s is one of my favorite places to hang out. And the manager, Nick, lets me swing by whenever on the premise that I file their taxes for them (he pays me under the table).

I slide into the left side of the booth and smirk when I see my dad and Derek already seated together on the other side. It seems before Lex dropped me off, the two of them were watching funny videos on Derek’s phone, because they both have wide smiles on their faces and my dad is leaning over Derek’s shoulder to stare at the older man’s phone.

My hand gestures to dad’s socks and sandals. “Dad, I see you’ve chosen today to publicly embarrass yourself.”

He beams at me, but guilt sparks in his eyes when he sees my face. “Very funny Finnie, how are you feeling?”

I shrug, sitting criss cross in the booth so I’m almost taller than Derek. Before I know what I’m doing, I’ve grabbed the crayons and kid coloring packet my dad always gets for me, and start absent-mindedly coloring it. “Good, I know it was an accident, you don’t have to feel guilty.

He doesn’t ask how I know, and just smiles wider as I do the same.

“Nice makeup, kid.” Derek grins as he gestures to my face, and I go to brush my fingers over my cheek.

I feel foundation and the memory comes back to me of Lex doing my makeup in the parking lot at an inhuman speed after I had admitted to not wanting my dad to see the dark purple bruise above and below my eye. For whatever reason she had my exact shade of foundation and ended up giving me smokey eyes, black lipstick, and little black hearts on both of my cheeks. 

I beam at him. “Thanks, Lex helped me with it.”

“Lex,” my dad says carefully as our food is brought to the table. I smirk to myself when I see he ordered my favorite pizza, olive and cheese, and immediately scarf down a piece. “Is that…?”

“Darren’s sister, yeah.” I swallow the glob of cheese, bread, and olives in my mouth and wipe off the tomato sauce from my lips before placing the napkin on my plate. I ignore my dad’s pointed look to eat more food, and he sighs.

“And do you…?” My dad’s acting very awkward. “Like her?”

“Ugh, dad!” I cringe.

He raises his hands in surrender. “I just want to know!”

“No, you want to meddle.”

“I don’t meddle.”

“Yeah ya do, kid,” Derek butts in, and I jab a finger towards him.

“See? Even your boyfriend agrees with me!” I exclaim a bit too loudly.

“Finley!” The two whisper-shout at the same time, their faces bright red, and I snort before disguising it as a cough at their embarrassed faces. 

Of course I know Derek and my dad like each other, I’m the smartest person on Earth. Plus an idiot could see the way they talk about each other, like two love-sick teenagers, it’s a bit embarrassing.

“Okay, okay,” Derek speaks up, glancing at my dad before the two turn towards me. “So what have you been up to the past 24 hours?

I smirk as my head starts to spin with hundreds of possible close-to-the-truth stories and launch into the first one.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave suggestions/critiques/comments! I need some ideas before I bring in Emily. What do you want to see in this story?
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	13. Chap 13 I am not your protagonist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finley sings a song and vibes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION:  
> Guys, for Halloween, I'll be posting a chapter on Sunday, but it'll be a Q&A. So submit any questions you have for me/ any of the characters and I'll have them say their answers! Submit your questions before/at 7pm PST on Saturday and I'll answer them all!

The next day I skip school.

Well, sort of. I went into the school building and told my teachers (collectively) that I was going to a doctor’s appointment and then forged a random doctor’s signature. To be fair, there’s no way they’ll check to see if the note if valid. For one thing, I’m easily acing all my classes and my teachers are getting a bit tired of me correcting them. And for another, they have no reason not to trust me so one by one they all shrugged, said I could have emailed them, and then yelled at me to stop skateboarding through the halls.

Pushing away the memories, I strum my guitar once more and tune it as I glance up at the muted sunlight in the middle of the grey sky above me. The weather is miserable in DC today and I absolutely love it. It’s especially beautiful from where I’m seated on top of my apartment building.

Yeah, I spend a lot of time on the rooftop that I tried to end my life on. I’m not planning to try again (at the moment anyways), I just like it up here. Even before my attempt I hung out on the roof. There’s nothing all that special about it, it’s a plain old concrete roof with a tiny shack-like structure in the middle leading down into the apartment. Each side of the square roof has a three foot tall concrete wall that I tend to perch on. There’s something exhilarating about the fact that one small step could lead to my doom after all the shit I’ve been through.

Plus this is where I come to smoke because there’s no way my dad would ever suspect of me coming up here.

My left hand brings a cigarette to my lips and I breathe in the smoke before snuffing it out on my thigh. I flick the butt towards the wastebasket near the door before turning back to the tiny ants called people thirty floors below me. 

I pull out my phone and open the notes app to a page labelled ‘Songs to Learn’. The screen scrolls down past about thirty songs I’ve performed so far to one without a checked box next to it. 

Smirking to myself, I turn sideways on the wall so I’m straddling it, before I flop backwards so I’m lying down. My left foot gets placed on the wall so my leg forms a triangle,   
and I strike the first cord to ‘Sweet Hibiscus Tea by Penelope Scott’.

“Here's the thing, I can't do anything right

Try as I absolutely, totally might

The bones are melting, the skeleton is ash

The clavicle detaches and falls with a deafening crash.” The music wraps me up and mutes the thoughts and equations that are constantly hurtling around my head. The silence is a nice break, even though the nostalgia from when this song first came out back in 2006 hits hard.

I strum the guitar with more vigor as my favorite part of the song - the chorus - approaches.

“And I'm not your protagonist

I'm not even my own

I don't know anything

I don't even know what I don't know.”

This song was my favorite, and probably still is, for the past five years since it came out. Ten-year-old me loved the ‘I’m not your protagonist’ part, because I can relate to it deeply. Honestly, my dad’s so worried about me wanting to join the FBI, he never stopped to ask if I actually wanted to. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but it’s where my dad and I differ. He’s always tried to use his mind and intellect for the force of good. I’m not evil, and while I could take over the world that’s too much work, but I don’t want the government using my brain. My dad’s smart, but he’s a bit blinded by his success of being the youngest person accepted into the BAU. I see the government for what it truly is - a power-seeking organization bent on total control.

“And if you look outside you'll see

Disintegrating trees

The artificial way the sunlight bounces

Off the waxy leaves

My heart catches on every thorn

You're already halfway out the door

And I've never looked so old

And I have never been so cold

And it is 85 degrees

I don't know what I need.” 

I draw out the word ‘need’ and ignore the way my throat is starting to ache since I haven’t sung in a while. Honestly, I know I’m a decent singer and guitar player. I wasn't born with natural talent for music like with my intellect, but intelligence definitely helps. When I play a song, the music swirls in front of me and each chord and word lights up as I perform them. But I’ve been learning to play the guitar and sing since I was five.

“There's lukewarm herbal mango sweet hibiscus tea

On the hot garbage pile in which I fucking sleep

The walls are empty it's so ugly I could

Burn the whole place down

It wouldn't catch 'cause all the posters

Are on their way to my hometown.”

That part makes me smile as I think of my bedroom. I’ve never been one for decorating, and my room reflects that. It’s pretty messy, as I can’t bring myself to focus for long enough to clean it. It’s not a very large room, but it’s big enough. The walls are a blank beige except for one poster of MCR from back when they first came out. My bed is more of a cot because of all the articles I’m read on the dangers of bedframes, so my mattress is on the hardwood floor with a bunch of pillows and wrinkly blankets piled on top of it (the floor is fucking freezing in the mornings). I have stacks of books all around my bed and a nightstand next to the mattress that’s full of art supplies, headphones (because I’m a hoarder of them), and makeup. On top of the nightstand is an old vintage lamp shaped like a leg that I thought was hilarious at a flea market.

“And I am not your protagonist

I'm not even my own

I don't know anything

I don't even know what I don't know

And if you look outside you'll see

Disintegrating trees

The artificial way the sunlight bounces

Off the glitching leaves

My wet heart catches on every thorn

You're already halfway out the door

And I'm so tiny and so old

And God it's never been so cold

And it is 85 degrees

I don't know what I need.” 

For whatever reason, a wave of exhaustion hits me after that final note. I tuck my guitar under my jacket, place both on the roof next to me, and lie back on the wall.

The last thing I see is the sun above me before unconsciousness hits.

*READ THE CHAPTER NOTES*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ATTENTION:  
> Guys, for Halloween, I'll be posting a chapter on Sunday, but it'll be a Q&A. So submit any questions you have for me/ any of the characters and I'll have them say their answers! Submit your questions before/at 7pm PST on Saturday and I'll answer them all!


	14. Happy Halloween!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn dresses up as her role model. Fluff ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to postpone the Q&A until more questions come up on my platforms for the characters. Enjoy this chapter for Halloween!!!

Finnie P.O.V

“Happy Halloween Losers!” I exclaim, practically kicking open the doors to the BAU’s office with dad laughing next to me. Everyone’s eyes snag on our costumes and their faces light up.

For Halloween I always go all-out, as it’s my favorite holiday. I typically just dress up and go trick-or-treating with Henry, even if the tradition is a bit childish. I keep my costumes to myself and try not to take it personally when people laugh, because I get super passionate about this Holiday, and it does sting when people make fun of the effort I put into it.

That said, I’ve known the team for two months now and have started spending more and more time at their office - specifically and at Derek and Rossi’s houses. Derek and I bonded over basketball and a shared love of watching the NFL on cable (which annoys dad so much) to the point where I introduced him to Darren and the other boys at the basketball courts. All of them had hit it off and we ended up playing basketball until my dad came to find me and ended up forcing Derek to come over because they had work tomorrow.

Rossi and I, on the other hand, bonded over a shared love of the arts, italian cuisine, and the movie The Godfather (as stereotypical as that is). I did scold the man once for telling my dad to stop talking when Rossi had a headache, and to everyone’s surprise he had apologised to dad after I spoke up. Since then I hang out at his house after school while Dad’s at some sort of college lecture or his rehab meetings no one on the team will admit exist. Rossi and I have started just speaking Italian to each other around his house, and even in front of the team, mostly to annoy Hotch and Derek who can’t understand us. The others can’t either, but they think it’s ‘adorable’.

This Halloween I decided to dress up as my dad, mostly because I didn’t want to go out and buy clothes or a costume and it gave me an excuse to cut my hair shorter. My dad and I haven’t had a chance to get haircuts for a while, so my hair got to the point where it was past my shoulders, and his got to his shoulders, so we decided to get matching haircuts two weeks ago on Halloween (the BAU’s office party had to be delayed because of a case in Minnesota during which I had to stay with Rossi because he stayed back to watch me even though I protested and said I usually crash at Darren’s, which Dad did not know about). So now both of us got similar haircuts and there’s identical curly mops   
on our heads now that reach our ears and almost the bottom of our necks.

Dad used to give me his old clothes during college when he couldn’t afford baby clothes, and at first he felt bad, until he saw how much I loved them because apparently two year old me said I ‘looked like Jack McCoy from Law and Order’. So I dressed in one of my white button-up shirts and a black sweater vest he gave me at some point. For pants and shoes I got a pair of the strange grey … I guess ‘trousers’ would be the right word, that he wears every day and black converse. I also threw on a blue tie, and he wore the same outfit as me and even gave me his spare ID and satchel.

“Two baby geniuses!” Garcia squeals and rushes over with the others right behind her. 

The blonde woman reaches out to touch me, freezes for a second when she most likely flashes back to the last time, but I just give a small smile and nod. Another squeal and she’s grabbing my face, turning it this way and that to look at the eyeliner I applied earlier and then beaming when she sees matching wings on dad’s eyes. This close up to Garcia, I can’t help but notice how she somehow smells like rainbows and unicorns.

The rainbows make sense. I usually chill in Garcia’s office with her during the day while the team is off on cases, and she ended up coming out to me as a Lesbian about a week after I met her. I knew her sexuality already (I have impeccable gaydar) and we both ended up fangirling over Katherine Pierce from Vampire Diaries and binging the show. She hasn’t come out to the team yet, and somehow they haven’t picked up on it. Even dad doesn’t know, which really got me and I still think it’s hilarious every time she makes an offhand comment about the female unsub being hot and no one catches on.

In fact, she was the first one I told when Alexus and I broke up two weeks ago, and ended up crying in her office about it.

Yeah, I broke up with Alexus. For a good month and a half we were doing really well, and she even asked me to be her girlfriend. But after that she started acting really weird. Alexus only came over to hang out once in a blue moon and texted about once a week. When we were together, she wouldn’t let me even touch her phone and didn’t want to kiss or sit that close (which I understood, and I thought she was just trying to give me personal space). But I’m not an idiot, and as much as I tried to deny it, I saw the signs and eventually asked Darren point-blank if his sister was cheating on me.

Darren had gone to roll his eyes and say ‘of course not’, but froze and I saw his head spin. Eventually he muttered out a ‘fuck’ and proceed to tell me that a girl named Sarah had been hanging out at their house a lot recently and apologized, saying he would yell at his sister for me. I had shaken my head, already retreating into my Mind Bridge, and just gave him a hug and walked away. 

One hour later I sent a text to Alexus with seven words.

Finnie: I know. It’s over. We’re done. Goodbye.

Then I blocked her.

I think dad may have picked up on the fact that we were dating and she cheated on me, and if he took me out for ice cream after I texted her, we didn’t say anything.

“Oh God, you two got matching haircuts.” JJ approaches us and clutches her chest. “I think my heart is overloading on cuteness.”

“Damn kid, we’re really going far with the brownosing this year, huh?” Derek ruffles my hair and then does the same to dad as he shrugs.

“It was sort of a trade, Finnie wore one of my outfits so I let her put makeup on me,” Dad says, and coughs when Derek grabs his face so him and Garcia can inspect our   
matching eyeliner and foundation.

Rossi grins and holds up a coffee cup in salute. “Reid, you’re a really good dad.”

Dad’s face flushes and he sputters, trying to deny it even as the others all agree.

“You totally are,” Garcia gushes. 

“I’ve never met another dad who would let their kid put makeup on them,” JJ agrees.

“I’ve never met a kid who wanted to dress up as their dad,” Hotch says and gives us a rare smile. “Not even Jack, he went as a transformer.”

I snap my fingers and feel my eyes light up. “Oh yeah! On actual Halloween I dressed up as RC with Henry who went as Optimus Prime.” The adults give me confused looks, and   
I gesture with my hands as I explain. “Henry and I binge-watched the show when you guys were on a case about a year ago. The show came out two years, ten days, and twenty-seven minutes ago, and RC is--”

Garcia whirls to JJ. “Do you have pictures of them?”

JJ gives me a dangerous smile and I glare at her. “Don’t you dare.”

She whips out her phone, clicks a few buttons before I can take it from her, and Garcia’s phone dings a second later. The blonde woman takes it out, opens up to her text messages and squeals at the sight of me and Henry dressed up before proceeding to pass the phone around. Derek and her finally releasing my dad and me.  
The whole team looks at the photos and gives me a smug look, but they get confused when I don’t get upset.

I shrug. “It may be a bit embarrassing but I managed to hustle four kids out of half their halloween candy and made fifty bucks selling it to popular apartments that run out.”  
The team blinks.

“That’s… Impressive as fuck,” Rossie says with an appraising look, ignore my dad’s shout of ‘language’! “You should help me with my pyramid scheme, kid.”

“I would love too,” I say in total sincerity, and proceed to follow the Italian into his office along with Derek, all three of us ignoring my dad’s protests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oop, did I just get rid of one of your favorite characters? Whoopsssss


	15. Emily?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily comes back, Finn loses it.  
> TW: Basically everything except sex

Finley P.O.V

“Um, hi, do you know where my dad is?” I ask one of the female desk agents in the BAU. 

My dad forgot his lunch at home again so I decided to drop it off. It’s Friday afternoon and a ‘parent-teacher conference day at our high school so we get the day off and Issie decided to come with me. Ever since she found out Alexus was cheating on me she’s been super protective. It’s nice that she cares, and she hadn’t gone overboard yet like she usually does. I sent her a text explaining what happened with Darren and Alexus (I’m still friends with Darren, he just doesn’t bring his sister with him anymore) and even though we were barely dating for a month, Issie rushed over, threw a carton of ice cream at me, and insisted on watching Sherlock Holmes.

I honestly like watching that show with her more than I did Alexus because Issie shares my opinion that Mycroft Holmes is, indeed, a bit of a lil bitch. Of course, Issie refuses to swear, so she called him a butthead and then scowled at me as I cackled at the ridiculous name-calling.

Right now Issie’s standing next to me typing a quick message that’s probably to her mom judging by the focused look on my best friend’s face. Despite our different fashion styles, she actually chose to wear a - in my opinion - decent outfit today. And by that I mean one I would consider wearing. Issie’s dressed in a rainbow striped collared shirt that's a bit baggy and is tucked into some worn navy blue jeans. We have matching black doc Martens on but while my hair is down and frankly a m,ess, hers is neatly pinned back with a few sunflowers.

The woman looks up from her work and smiles at us. “Oh! You must be Finley. And Finley’s friend! Him and the others are in conference A, down the hall and to your right.”  
I thank her and we go to walk down the hallway she was pointing at. Walking down it, I mumble the letters on each of the doors until we get to A at the end of the hall. Turning the handle, I realise it’s already open, and after a nod from Issie I push it forwards.

Then my whole world crashes apart.

Standing in front of us is the BAU team, complete with an alive and well Emily Prentiss.

“Oh fuck,” Issie mutters, but I’m too far gone to care that she swore. 

The team turns to look at us and I study them as quickly as I can before the inevitable mental breakdown that’s creeping up on me hits all the way.

Derek, Garcia, Dad, Rossi: Absolutely floored, didn’t know she was alive, not in my focus of rage.

Hotch, Emily, Prentiss: Nervous, not floored, knew she was alive, lied to me, very in bounds in my focus of rage.

Emily and Dad look at me first with completely different expressions. Emily looks relieved to see me while Dad looks like he wants to cover my eyes and never let me see again. 

Emily approaches me, ignoring Dad’s warnings and the fact that I back up into the conference room wall. Someone’s hands are on my shoulders -Issie it’s Issie- and they’re muttering something to me but it’s like they’re very far away.

My heart is pounding and my eyesight pulses with it, little black pixels creeping up on the edge of my vision. I blink and I’ at the threshold to my mind bridge, the sun setting over the beautiful architecture in my brain.

I don’t hesitate before sinking into it.  
*****  
Third Person P.O.V

Thousands of unregistered emotions are flowing through Reid’s head since the great reveal, but now it’s just pure panic as the familiar sight of Finn checking out of reality takes place.

Reid cringes at the memory of his daughter’s face when she first saw Emily. Her reaction was a lot like his, rage, betrayal, scrutinizing, and eventually greif. However, Finn didn’t stop at grief, she sunk lower and lower into hysteria to the point where she looked like she was about to faint. Thankfully Issie’s with her to try and ground her and keep Emily away, but it wasn’t enough to keep the girl present.

Now he watches next to Emily as Finn’s pupils dilate to the point where there’s only a thin line of blue surrounding them. His daughter stands up straight and seems almost flowy as her eyes wander to a section of the wall and focus on it.

“Finn..?” Emily reaches out for the girl, ignoring Issie’s protests.

Reid’s had enough of the woman not listening to anyone about Finn’s boundaries at this point and grabs her wrist in an iron grip. Emily looks at him, a pissed expression on her face, but it fades into fear when she sees Reid.

The youngest member of the BAU is indeed a sight. The usually awkward, lanky man is standing up straight and confident. His normal kind and forgiving gaze is nowhere to be seen and has been replaced with a stone cold expression that barely masks the fury behind it.

“Don’t touch my daughter,” he says calmly. “Understand?”

Emily’s pissed expression returns. “Reid, what the hell - let go of me.”

She struggles to free her wrist from Reid’s hand but he doesn’t budge.

“Emily, just agree,” Morgan says at the same time Hotch says, “Reid, let her go.” 

The two turn to glare at each other, Hotch’s scowl more apologetic, but Morgan cuts him off before he can speak. “No, you don’t get a say in this right now.” He turns to EMily.   
“Emily, goddamnit agree with him, Finn’s his daughter.”

Emily whirls her fury towards Derek just to be met with an immovable wall of will. After a bit more struggling, the woman huffs. “Fine. Whatever.”

Reid releases her wrist with a terrifying smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Great.”

Unbeknownst to the adult agents, while they were arguing Issie had successfully managed to coax Finn back into reality. The Latina is the only one with the ability to bring Finn back from her ‘mind bridge’ for whatever reason’, and this time did it by pointing out that she’s had to face all these emotions eventually. 

Now Finn’s back in reality, and mania has been replaced with blinding fury.

Finn’s daughter walks calmly up to Emily, concealing her rage just like her father, and taps the woman on her shoulder. 

The black haired woman turns around and a relieved smile graces her face. “Finn, I--”

THUD.

Emily hunches over, clutching her bleeding nose Finn’s punch had landed on.

“FINN!” Hotch and JJ shout and she whirls on them.

“Fuck you.”

“Finn!” Emily exclaims.

“Fuck you too!” the girl yells and it’s then that the agents see the tears in her eyes that leave them floored. Issie notices them too and comes to stand behind Finn as the girl turns to Hotch and JJ. “You knew. You knew and you let me do it anyways!”

Hotch, Rossi, Garcia and Emily look confused, but a look of horror crosses Derek, JJ, and Reid’s faces.

JJ shakes her head. “That’s … that’s not why you did it.” Because of course JJ knows what happened, she was the one Reid rushed to about it. She helped him get Finn under suicide watch.

“Woah, woah, woah, did what?” Rossi asks, but he’s completely ignored. 

Hotch winces along with Garcia as they see the blood dripping from Finn’s clenched fists. 

The girl isn’t finished. “Yes it fucking was.What if- what if I had succeeded, huh? What did Dad start using Dilaudid again? What if every fucking think w-w-went wrong and--” Finn’s breathing is erratic and she can’t think straight, the millions of words constantly flowing through her head are now buzzing angrily. 

JJ shakes her head, deep in denial. “No, no, no. Just because you’re angry that you couldn’t profile us--”

“PROFILE YOU?” Finn’s voice booms, louder than the agents thought was possible and now even Issie looks scared. She reaches out for the taller girl but is shaken away. “The only goddamn reason I didn’t pick up on your bullshit is because I trusted you. You listened to Dad and I for weeks as we came to your house sobbing our fucking eyes out. I know you saw the marks up and down my wrists because you’re a profile and even someone with apparent horrible judgement such as yourself had to have seen the signs. But no, not even when I was on watch--”

“Finn, breath or you’re going to pass out,” Issie says, but she’s once again ignored as Finn’s face turns from red to deadly.

“What the hell are you all talking about?” Emily exclaims, on the verge of panic.

Finn laughs.

Her laugh is manic and cold and cruel. It makes goosebumps rise on everyone’s flesh because it’s a laugh they’ve heard from almost every criminal they’ve faced. The same laugh that lets the agents know Finn’s about to shatter their minds.

She whirls towards Emily, tears flowing freely down her face even though she’s expressionless. “Two weeks after you died I tried to kill myself.”  
Reid and Derek cringe, Garcia bursts into tears, Rossi and Hotch curse loudly, and JJ and Emily look flabbergasted. 

Finn shakes her head and finally lets Issie put her hand on her shoulder. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter now. Dad, you forgot your lunch again.” The tears are gone from her face as she hands the sack over. Reid looks at it, back at Finn, and pulls her into a hug. 

He then keeps his arm around her shoulders and walks to the door, taking Issie’s hand as well.

“Reid, where are you going?” Hotch sounds weary.

Reid doesn’t look back as they all step through the doorway. “We’re going home. Expect my resignation on your desk tomorrow morning.” 

He slams the door shut and chaos erupts.  
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this was so late guys! I got sick. We're returning to a normal uploading schedule every week now.


	16. Strauss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn has a panic attack, throws up, and finds out about her Dad's plans.

Finley P.O.V

I can’t breathe.

It feels like someone is sitting on my chest, compressing my ribs so my lungs can’t expand. The lack of oxygen to my brain makes my usual mess of thoughts buzz angrily like bees behind my eyes. Numbers pop up one after another, equations and shapes dancing across my vision as I struggle to gulp in some air.

I have some sociopathic traits, I know that, I’ve been diagnosed with them. One of those is suppressing emotions during times of great turmoil, but they always come back with a vengeance.

Someone’s talking to me - Issie, it’s Issie - but I can’t hear her. My heart is throbbing in my ears and blocking out almost all sound. The feeling is choking me - IcantbreathIcantbreathe ICANTBREATHE!

The lack of air and sudden nausea is all too much and I fall down on my knees to hurl up my stomach. 

Bile burns my throat and nose as more and more vomit escapes me. I throw up once, then twice, and dry heave until my stomach is sore and tears are streaming down my face. There’s not much to throw up, I can’t remember the last time I sat down long enough to eat a full meal. But the vomiting is enough to snap me out of my haze and take in my surroundings.

I’m home, the carpet is too ugly for me not to be. It’s even uglier with my vomit staining it. Dad’s flitting around me with Derek who I didn’t expect to be here. They’re looking for cleaning supplies. Issie’s next to me and she’s gathered all my hair away from my face while she rubs my back. 

“It’s alright, chica, it’s alright,” she coos softly. Her eyes widen when she realizes I’m back to the present so she probably expected me to be at my Mind Bridge for a bit.

I can barely lift my head up to look at her. “She… she lied, Iss.”

My best friend sighs and tilts her head on my shoulder as Dad and Derek clean up the carpet as fast as they can. “I know, Finnie.”

“Why did she do it?” my voice cracks but I really can’t give a fuck right now.

Issie scooches closer so she’s curled into my side. “Derek says she was on an undercover mission in Paris.” She glances up at me. “Still a pretty dicky move.” 

I can tell she’s trying to get me to smile, but I can’t, not even as Dad and Derek join us on the ground.

Dad moves to gather me in a side-hug, and I look up at him. “Are you really going to ... resign?” I have to pause in the middle of my question to catch my breath and it hits me that my body’s shutting down.

Derek exchanges looks with his coworker before they nod towards me. “We both are,” my dad’s sort-of-but-not-really-even-though-he-totally-is boyfriend says.

Guilt hits me in the stomach. “Because of … me?”

“No, no, of course not bubs,” Dad reassures me quickly, using the nickname he had for me as a baby. “Well, sort of, because she didn’t respect your boundaries, but they lied to us too.”

“We contacted Strauss to get the resignation papers sorted. She totally understood the situation, apparently she was against it to begin with,” Derek sounds floored and a part of my mind that’s still operating is too, that lady’s usually a bitch. “She says our contracts say we have to work for another four months before our resignations are finalized.   
But,” he nudged me slightly, “She said you could come on any future missions as long as you stay out of the direct action.”

That’s enough to startle me awake and I give a genuine small smile. “That sounds awesome.” Black dots dance in front of my vision. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”

My eyes roll into my head and I faint.  
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know this is short, but it's necessary to the plot! It probably would have been longer but I've been crushed with the weight of homework and inevitable failure all week.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, and thank you so much to everyone who commented!


	17. AN

Hey guys! Quick AN  
There won't be a chapter this week due to it being the last week before break and my teachers apparently wanting to give us scholiosis with all their last minute lessons.  
There will be an extra long chapter with tons of drama uploaded this upcoming weekend to make up for this!

Thanks for your patience!  
-Idontknowguys

P.S. would you guys want to see a christmas chapter?


	18. Mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn talks about what's happened during the past 24 hours. It's not great.

TW: Self harm, cutting, mention of drugs, mention of rapist

Finn P.O.V

“Finn! It’s been forever and I have to shower, what are you even doing in there?” My dad knocks on the bathroom door. More specifically, he knocks on my bathroom door. There are two bathrooms in the apartment but one is currently … out of order due to a mishap combining sleepwalking, nightmares, and a gun.

That was fun to explain to the landlady, let me tell you. Luckily Mrs. Dale is dope so she let it slide with the deal that I’d help her son, Noah, with his math homework.

Dad continues to knock on the door and whine about me taking forever. I’m pretty sure this is how it feels to have a sister.

As it’s my bathroom, Dad let me decorate it however I want as long as I paid for it myself. Since I’m a child prodigy, and we live close to quite a few casinos that he’s been banned from, Dad doesn’t know that I made around $678,000 dollars at one of the establishments in a night. He was confused at first why he was receiving less bills than usual but I think he figured out I was intercepting them and trusted me enough not to question it.

My washroom is a lot homier than my room for whatever reason. I stuck fake plants all over the ceiling and vines down the beige walls. The bath tub with the showerhead attached to it is a bright white color but the curtain and mat under and around it match the walls. I have a muted pink mirror above a porcelain white sink. Finally, the floor is made of white tiles that are currently covered in blood.

I mutter curses as the banging continues, throwing my razorblade into the tiny compartment I built behind the toilet along with the roll of bandages I cut a strip off of. I shove my fist in my mouth as I pour hydrogen peroxide over the deep cuts in my arm and barely manage not to scream. The shower is still on from earlier and I use it to wash off the chemical before wrapping my arm tightly.

“Dad,” I call out, and wince at how pissed off I sound. “I’m a girl, and we get something called a perio-”

“Okay!” He stops banging and sounds apologetic. “Sorry. Just, hurry up?”

“I will, gimme a sec.”

“Okay.” Guilt trickles into his voice and guilt stabs through my stomach as I hurry to dry my hair and get dressed.

It’s been two days since … she’s returned, and to be honest Dad and I are a mess.

I never cut myself before this. Sure, there was the occasional cigarette burn, and I guess getting high counts as self harm, but never this serious. In the past two days I’ve spent about four hours in the bathroom making my arms look like barcodes. Part of me wants desperately to tell my dad and to stop myself, but he has his own stuff going on.

He won’t admit it, but I’ve seen his staring longer and longer at the secret wall drawer that has some dilaudid in it. Of course he knows I got rid of it long ago, but the thought is still there.

JJ, her, Hotch, Rossi, and Garcia have been trying and failing to make contact with us for the past forty eight hours. Rossi’s the only call I picked up, and we actually ended up hanging out for a bit. I made sure there was no dilaudid in the house and waited for Derek to come over before leaving with the older man. We ended up making a bunch of pasta but I stormed out of the house when he remarked on how immature Dad and I were since we weren’t contacting everyone.

His house is twenty miles away from mine but I walked the whole way back.

Derek really has been our saving grace since the big reveal. He’s been distracting my dad and me even though I can tell he’s messed up too. Part of me thinks this is his way of cheering himself up.

Issie has also been amazing. She’s been calling me every three hours to make sure I’m okay and to ask if I want to go somewhere. At first she was calling me every hour, but when I stopped picking up and came over and we took a nap together for about four hours then we watched Rick and Morty.

We know all the words to all the episodes and Derek and Dad were very concerned.

But the reason Dad and I are in a hurry today is because the team has been called in to Las Vegas, funnily enough the same area my mother lives in.

Dad is obviously dreading this mission, and I’m doing my best to match him because he can’t know my real plan. While hje and the team plan to find the serial killer going around my Dad’s hometown, I’m going to find my birth mother.

I’m going to find her and confront her about everything she’s done.

Which is why, as soon as I leave the bathroom and my dad enters, I pack a knife with my luggage.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOp  
> I did a thing.  
> Hope you enjoyed! It's gonna get a lot darker from here.


	19. Christmas

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn gets a chance to be a kid for a bit. No warnings, just Christmas.

I gasp awake and bolt up in bed. Female hands retract from my shoulders and a weight dips the mattress next to me as I furiously rub my eyes to get the sleep out of them. My own drowsiness seems determined to keep my eyes shut, but I manage to get the right one open and breathe out a huge sigh of relief.

“Auntie G?” I ask, swaying a bit and trying to stay conscious. Garcia tousles my hair gently and I’m so exhausted I lean into the touch which I can tell she wants to aw at. The woman is dressed in fuzzy tie-dye sweatpants and an oversized plain white hoodie. Her blonde hair is pulled up into a very messy bun and her glasses are nowhere to be found, leading me to determine she just woke up too and someone drove her here. “Wassgoinon?”

She smiles at me, somehow wide awake, but as soon as I smell coffee on her it makes sense. “Hey bug,” she murmurs her nickname she gave to me before the whole Emily mess. “Your Dad, Morgan, and I are gonna take you somewhere cool, okay?”

I look around but everything is foggy. My alarm clock slowly comes into focus and I frown at the time, 3 AM. A glance out of the window shows it’s pitch black out and no one is on the streets.

“Whaddabout the case? We should have left already.” I mutter, returning my gaze to Garcia who scowls towards the door. 

“Ugh, I knew those two doofuses would get the time wrong. We’re not leaving till morning, kiddo.”

I nod slowly but my body betrays me and I start to drift off again.

Garcia sighs fondly and lays a hand on my shoulder. “I’ll wake you up when we get there, Baby Genius. You can go back to sleep.”

****

Third Person P.O.V

Reid smiles wide at the sight that meets him when he comes down the stairs. He’s dressed in the ugly Christmas sweater Finn got him last year and as it’s a week till Christmas, he figured the girl would appreciate him wearing it. The sweater itself is blue and has a picture of Santa sitting on a chimney and using it as a toilet while he reads a newspaper. Finn had thought it was absolutely hilarious and couldn’t wait till Christmas to give it to her dad. He wore it to work the next day and got made fun of by the whole team, but it was worth it to see Finn happy.

What he doesn't expect to see when he’s finally ready to go is his sleeping daughter getting a piggyback from Derek Morgan while Garcia snaps pictures. Finn’s hair is mussed up along with her XXXL red and green sweatshirt that reaches her knees and has sleeves that hang six inches past her hands. Reid’s happy she fell asleep in that sweatshirt, black sweatpants, and fuzzy socks because he doesn’t know how cold the car is going to be. Despite that he already has four fuzzy blankets in his arms and he gives Garcia a grin as she reaches forwards to take two of them from him. 

The blonde woman looks tired but a twinkle in her eye shows excitement. She’s wearing a new perfume that makes her smell like gingerbread and Reid can’t help but smirk at her love for the season.

Derek looks a little tired, but nowhere near the level of Garcia and Reid. He’s also dressed in pajamas, but his aren’t that Christmas themes. He’s dressed in red flannel sweatpants and a black Adidas sweatshirt. He rolls his eyes at the taller man as Reid gives him a smug look. 

“The kid kept falling back asleep, it’s not like I had a choice,” the older agent gripes.

His coworkers give him matching looks. “Sure.”

All their voices are low in an effort not to wake Finley, Derek’s the lowest by far despite his earlier protests. Somehow they all manage to make it out the door, even if every creak of a floorboard or thump of someone’s arm into a wall makes them break down laughing. They get a couple weird looks from the night owls in the hallways of Reid’s apartment building but make it to Derek’s car alright.

Derek has a black SUV that he insisted on using for this expedition of theirs, despite Garcia’s protests that her old mustang would have been fine. Once they’re at the car doors, however, they encounter a problem.

“Shit,” Derek hisses when Reid tries to open the door but it remains locked. “My keys are in my pocket but I can’t reach them with Finn-”

“Hand her to me,” Reid whispers, holding his arms out. Derek raises an eyebrow and his taller coworker puts his hands on his hips. “I’ve been carrying Finn whenever she’s zoned out for years. Trust me.”

The youngest Agent is a bit annoyed that Derek doesn’t believe he can carry his own daughter, but a bigger part of him is cooing over how his coworkers care about the kid so much. Reid takes Finn from Derek and holds her bridal style. His daughter is really warm, and to anyone else it would be an inclination that she’s sick, but Reid knows from experience that Finn just turns into a space heater when she’s asleep.

Everyone gets into the car with the boys in the front and the girls in the back. Garcia buckles Finn and Reid is thankful he brought the blankets because it’s frigid in the car. He distributes the fluffy objects, everyone gets settled, then Derek punches the gas and they’re off.

***

“Finn,” someone’s hand is shaking me again, it’s Garcia. She sounds really excited. “Wake up! You’re gonna wanna see this.”

I blink my eyes open, a lot more awake then the first time this happened, and immediately realize I’m in a car. And not any car, Derek’s car. I know the interior of his vehicle by heart since he’s started picking me up from school and playing basketball with me and the others during the week now. 

Blinking more and rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I give Garcia a confused look when I realize there’s four of us in the car and everyone’s looking at me.

“Well, look who’s alive,” Derek grins at me from the driver’s seat. “Welcome to the land of the living, kid.”

“Where ‘re we?” I clear my throat. “How’d I get into the car?”

“Derek gave you a piggyback!” Garcia squeals, thrusting her phone in my face to show me the pictures. I hiss at first at the bright light but then actually focus on the image and my face glows red.

I rub a hand over my face. “Okay, I guess that’s answered. But where are we?”

Dad turns around to point out my window with a grin. “See for yourself.”

Following his advice, I turn to face the window and gasp at the sight.

Outside my window has to be thousands of lights in all different colors. They’re all shaped into different things and right off the bat I see a fire breathing dragon, Santa, Rudolf, Candy Canes, the Grinch, and so many more. The lights are flashing at different times and there’s faint Christmas music playing from the car’s stereo. There are cars in front and behind us but everyone has their headlights off as we drive slowly through the attraction.

“Ooh shiny,” is the first thing that I can think to say and it sounds so childlike I facepalm. Derek and Dad roar with laughter while Garcia coos and snaps a picture of me with her butterfly patterned polaroid camera. The camera is just so her that I don’t protest as she shows me the picture after it’s developed, and even I have to admit it’s a good one. My eyes are huge with amazement in the image and you can see Christmas lights reflected in them.

“What is this place?” I ask.

“Drive through Christmas lights.” Dad gives a shrug. “I didn’t know what they were either but Derek and Garcia were determined to make us go. Do you like them, bubs?”

I beam at him, my first real smile since Emily came back, and any tension in all the adults fades instantly. “Yeah, it’s great! Thanks guys.”

The blonde woman claps her hands excitedly. “That’s not all!” She pulls four steaming cups of something and a box of donuts out of nowhere and starts passing them around. “I bought donuts and hot chocolate!”

The boys and I cheer as we accept the food. We finish driving through the lights with Dad and I spouting facts about each type of lightbulbs we pass. Eventually we’re back on the road, all the hot chocolate and donuts are gone, and Dad and Garcia are asleep with me well on the way. And for the first time in forever, I finally feel content.

Then I shift a bit and a bolt of pain shoots up my forearm and the feeling goes away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in three dayssss yes I did that.  
> This weekend's chapter may be a bit late because it's really long.


	20. Petco

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The plane is awkward.

Thinking back on it, this may be one of the worst ideas Strauss has ever had.

We’re all gathered on the plane now, the BAU’s private jet. The couches are comfy and I’m currently laying on one of them with my forearm over my eyes and my headphones blasting heavy rock music that I know is very audible to everyone. I expected the atmosphere to be a little tense, sure, but I wasn’t expecting it to be the most awkward encounter of my entire life.

Without moving my arm or shifting the thin blanket over me I can tell where everyone is. Rossi and Derek are seated together at the back of the plane near the coffee machine. JJ and Hotch are seated on the opposite side with Emily while Dad sits on the part of the couch I’m not sprawled out on. He’s reading a book a lot faster than he usually would, which I know means he isn’t retaining any of the information.

There was some attempts by Emily, JJ, and Hotch to talk to me, but Dad put my headphones over my ears and that was that. Is it extremely infuriating to be treated like a toddler? Yes, yes it is. Am I kind of relieved anyways because I don’t know what to say? Absolutely.

See, the thing is, I’m still plenty angry. And definitely a bit hurt. But with all the cutting recently I’ve taken a big chunk of that anger out on myself. And I mean a big chunk.

I meant what I said, my earlier version of self harm was nothing more than a few burns. The marks JJ must have seen up and down my wrists after Emily ‘died’ were deep scratch marks that were too shallow to draw blood and not deep enough to scar.

What I’ve been doing recently? It’s a fucking horror show.

Angry purple scars are raised on my forearms like I branded a bar code there. I’ve gone through a pack of twenty cigarettes in the last week when in the past I’ve had maybe one a month. The last time I ate was in the car last night but before that I can’t remember, and I haven’t slept for a decent amount of time in ages. I’m extremely pale, I know I am, and the shadows under my eyes look more like bruises. My hair is pretty greasy because I don’t have the energy to wash it correctly in the shower, and I’m wearing a paint-splattered sweatshirt and sweatpants because I haven’t done laundry in forever.

I don’t know why I can’t stop it all. I’m trying, all the time, but it’s just too hard.

I’m startled back to reality by a small hand grabbing my bicep. Turning my head lazily, I blink at the sight of Henry next to the couch and wonder for a second if I’ve reached the hallucination phase of sleep deprivation before Derek speaks up.

“Uh, why’s Henry here?” He doesn’t direct his question towards Emily, he doesn’t seem to be able to look her in the eyes.

She answers anyways. “Will’s in New Orleans for a family reunion and we couldn’t get anyone to watch Henry.”

I do my best to ignore their little conversation and take in Henry’s appearance. The seven year old boy looks exhausted and a bit green around the gills. He’s airsick, most definitely, and looks like he’s on the verge of tears.

With a sigh, I lift the side of my blanket and the plane falls silent as Henry beams at me and wriggles his way into my little cocoon. He keeps squirming and shimmying until he’s half-sprawled on top of me with his head resting on my shoulder. The kid’s like a furnace and within seconds he’s asleep.

Quietly so I don’t wake him, I take off my headphones. I maneuver us until we’re upright so Henry’s clinging to me like a baby koala. Then I reach to the side of the couch, pull out a gallon ziploc bag and remove the contents, before starting to knit.

But before I can even get one stitch done something else falls out of my bag and my Dad’s eyes widen at the sight of it.

He pinches his nose before turning his brown eyes to mine. “Finley. Pray tell why you have a fake ID?”

I rush to think of an answer that doesn’t involve ‘oh, right, see, I have a nicotine addiction and I’ve been smoking since I was ten. My bad, I would have told you but you had your own stuff going on’. Finally, I settle on the second reason I got the ID and feel my face get warm.

“You … eighteen … hold,” I mutter, glaring at my knitting needles.

Derek speaks up this time, him and everyone else looking just as livid as my dad. “What was that kid?”

I sigh, not loud enough to wake Henry but loud enough to convey my embarrassment. “You have to be eighteen to hold the puppies at Petco…”

There’s quiet.

Then my Dad facepalms and chokes on a bought of laughter.

“Dad!” I hiss, red cheeked. “It’s not funny!” Derek and Rossi snort too, and I snap my head towards them. “Uncle Rossi! Uncle Derek!”

“Oh whatever, kid,” Derek beams, and a shot of guilt hits my stomach as he ruffles my hair. “Calm down and take a nap with Henry. You both look exhausted.”

Still grumbling, I comply, laying back down to try and pass out even as my Dad giggles.

That was close.

****

Here ya go


	21. AN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AN

Hey all, so listen up.

I'm having a hard time writing this story recently. I'm thinking about re-watching Criminal minds to get some inspiration. Until then, any ideas/suggestions of what you want to see happen would be great.


	22. Finn? What the fuck are you doing?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn gets found out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Self harm, blood, jumping off buildings, escaping your problems, drugs.

Finn P.O.V

I grin into the darkness as the glowing smoke spills out of my mouth into the night air.

We’ve been in DC for two days now. The team is chasing after a cannibalistic murderer who’s been farming people for forty years just to eat them. Of course I’m not supposed to know that, but I snuck into the evidence room and looked at all the pictures.

Sometimes I hate having an eidetic memory, and the ridiculous amount of curiosity that my brain seems to always convey.

Now I’m seated on top of the police precinct, razor in my hand, while music plays softly into my right ear. Las Angeles is so much warmer than DC and there’s a lot less honking, especially at night. The street is too quiet for my tastes, hence the music, but it does give me privacy. 

The team is down below in the evidence room, trying desperately to find Connor Thompson. They don’t know his name, or the fact that I already solved their case, but until he takes another victim, I’m not interfering. I have my own thing going on, and it involves staying in Las Angeles for two more days. I bought a bus ticket right before we touched down and it’s supposed to leave in ten minutes from right outside the precinct. I told Dad I was going to visit Grandma, which I will, but afterwards.

I sigh and drag the razor across my arm, transfixed as cherry red blood beads up. It drips down my wrist to the puddle forming on the edge of the roof next to me. I take a drag from the joint in my mouth and hold the smoke in for a moment. When it starts to burn I make glowing blue rings appear in the air with it.

What I’m smoking are no normal cigarettes. They’re a bit less harmful than normal drugs because they’re a specific kind of tobacco I spliced with blue jolly ranchers. They hide any tobacco smell and smother it in the scent of blue raspberry, which makes it very easy to hide from my dad.

“Finn? What the fuck are you doing?”

It doesn’t hide the sight of me smoking though-

I rip the joint out of my mouth and hide both it and my bloody arm behind me as I whirl around. Who the fuck would even go up on the roof, aren’t they all supposed to be on a case?

It’s Hotch. His arms are crossed over his chest and he’s trying to keep a nonchalant expression but I can see conflicting emotions flash across his expression. Mostly anger and sadness if his clenched fists are anything to go by.

I’m screwed, but I give him an innocent half-smile anyways, pulling out my earbud. “Hotch? What do you mean?” Subtly, I work my sleeve down over my bad wrist and his eyes catch on the movement.

“Don’t play dumb with me,” he says, stepping forwards and straightening his posture. “Wrists. Now.”

My chest seizes up and it’s hard to breathe. “I… I, um.” I shake my head. “I don’t know… know what you’re talking about.” I cringe at how jumbled my words come out, but   
they’re even more mixed up in my head. The only two clear thoughts I can pick up on are ‘jump’ and ‘lie’.

Hotch’s face darkens and his age shows through for a moment as he looks sadder than anyone I’ve ever seen. It’s gone as soon as it starts and he takes another step. His hands twitch and I can tell he’s ready to stop me from jumping.

“It wasn’t a request,” he says, holding his hands out. “Wrists. Also, the joint you’re hiding behind your back.”

I’m trapped. I don’t know what to do. Part of me knew I’d get caught eventually, but now that it’s actually happening, I’m lost. There’s a pole next to me that leads to the ground, and I set a hand on it to make sure I don’t fall backwards. Hotch is trying to make eye contact with me, his expression pained, but I direct my gaze towards the sky.  
He’s talking again and takes another step forward, but I can’t hear him. All I can hear is the screech of bus brakes behind us on the street. As soon as the sound stops I’m ripped back to the present. Hotch instantly catches on to my plan.

“Finley, don’t you dare-” He reaches out, about to grab me.

“Sorry Hotch,” I let out in a rush. “I promise I’m not suicidal, I’ll explain when I get back.”

I wrap my arms and legs around the pole and jump off the roof right before he grabs me. What I don’t count on is my blood making the pole slippery and I end up falling a lot   
faster than I meant to. My stomach is left up on the roof of the building as I slide down four floors. My feet hit the ground hard, and I hear something crack but there’s too much adrenaline in my system to feel it.

The bus doors open in front of me and I’m met with the sight of the driver. She has a concerned look on her face as she glances between me and the pole. Her dark skin glows in the faint artificial lights of the vehicle and I hop up the stairs, handing her the ticket. 

“Please, drive,” I beg.

Something in my face and the blood on the ticket makes her give me a sympathetic look, but she nods anyways. “Sure baby, go sit down. You’re going to the Mental Institution, right? Visiting someone?”

I don’t have time to talk, I need her to drive. The sound of panicking inside the precinct is getting louder so I nod. “Yes, my grandma, she’s dying. I need to get there really fast, please drive.” I’m a piece of shit for lying but she nods quickly and gestures for me to sit down.

Once I’m in one of the poorly padded grey bus seats the last thing I see is Hotch’s panicked face outside the bus before the woman steps on the gas and I close my eyes.

*****


	23. Bailey Miller

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are literally so many TW's in this chapter. Seriously. Mostly past descriptions of rape. It's fucked up. Summary at the end for those of you who can't handle that emotionally.

My heart thumps in my ears and in my swollen ankle as I shift back and forth on my feet in front of the door.

The color of the door doesn’t register, neither does anything but the house number next to it and the sound of the doorbell ringing. I ring the bell twice, hands shaky, until it’s thrown open. My jaw drops on its own as a woman is revealed.

She looks just like me. Bailey Miller has curly brown hair and pale skin the exact same shade as mine. She stands three inches shorter than me, dressed in a sunflower-patterened dress. Her hazel eyes are squinted agitatedly at me, and even then, she still doesn’t look like a rapist.

But she is one.

“What do you want?” She snarls, her crappy personality showing through her soft appearance. There’s something akin to hunger in her eyes and I shrink from it.

I really didn’t have a plan up to this point besides getting here. But now that I’m staring at Bailey face-to-face, rage pours into every ounce of my being.

“You’re my mother,” I blurt out. Her hazel eyes widen and she gapes. “Spencer Reid is my father.”

It feels wrong, saying my father’s name to this monster. Especially when the shocked look slides off her face and the hungry one intensifies. She grins, gaze far away in the past, and I shudder. There’s no way I want to know whatever the fuck it is she’s thinking about.

She snaps back and turns a glare to me. “Come inside. Now.” I make no move to do so, so she grabs me by the collar of my shirt and yanks me inside. The house is cold, obviously air conditioned, but she pulls me hard enough that I fall onto the tiled floor. It’s a struggle to get up, my ankle hurts so much, but I manage it as I hear her lock the door.

Right when I stand up I get decked in the face. Her fist collides with my nose and something pops before I’m staggering backwards, eyes watering. My hands come up to clutch my nose and she takes her chance to punch me in the stomach.

My MMA training choses this moment to kick in. I ignore the stomach pain and throw a right hook, getting her right in the jaw. With my strength and size it should have knocked her out, but she barely moves. It clicks that this isn’t the first time she’s had to subdue someone bigger than her, and has probably had years to practice.  
I am a fucking idiot.

She raises her right foot and kicks me hard in the chest. I skid back across the floor and my head hits the cabinets in the kitchen. The world is spinning and black dots dance in front of my vision, but I manage not to pass out.

Then Bailey is on top of me, straddling my stomach with a knife in her hands and I’m suddenly wide awake.

“I remember your father,” she hums, dragging the very tip of the knife across my cheek. It burns but I don’t dare move, focused intently on her words. “He was so pretty, and so young. He squirmed a lot, too.” 

Her words make me gag. My blood is boiling as she presses the knife to my neck. I let her, preoccupied with trying to get something out of the bag still on my back. I feel a cold metal handle right as she presses the knife hard enough to draw blood and my eyes snap to hers.

“You don’t squirm, though,” she tilts her head, brows furrowed. Usually I’d be able to diagnose her. Figure out what illness plagues her mind. But right now the only illness I can think of is her being a fucking bitch. “You have to be like him. A freak. Off. But you don’t seem like it. Aren’t you afraid?”

“No,” I bite out. “I don’t tend to be afraid of pieces of shit pedophiles.”

Bailey blinks, leaning back slightly and setting more of her weight on my stomach, “I’m no pedophile. He enjoyed it.”

I want to vomit. “It doesn’t matter if he enjoyed it! You were seventeen and he was twelve! You were one month from being eighteen. He was only a kid.”

“And so are you,” she mutters. “But you’re so angry. Just like me.”

“I’m nothing like you.”

“Oh yes you are,” she hums, raising the knife up over my heart. “But don’t worry, it won’t matter soon.” Bailey glances up at me, her eyes manic. “See you in hell, kid.”

“Tell them who sent you,” I bite back before dragging the gun out from my bag and shooting her.

The BANG echoes in my ears and warm blood hits my skin, but I don’t focus on that. Bailey's body goes slack on top of mine and I kick her off quickly, staring in horror at her face.

The bullet went right through her forehead, and it’s a gruesome sight. Her skin is peeled back and brain matter is all over her face. Her hazel eyes quickly lose color, but they’re still fixed on me.

I killed Bailey Miller. I killed my mother.

At some point the neighbors must have called the cops, because after either a minute or an hour one of them kicks the door down. Three storm in, but I don’t turn to look at them. Someone mutters ‘holy shit’ while another says ‘look, a security camera in the living room, get the footage’.

Someone’s crouching next to me. Her hand is on my shoulder, then dabbing at the cut on my neck with her sleeve. She’s panicking, her heart rate is fast. Too fast. 

“Someone help! She’s bleeding out! She’s gonna--”  
******

In movies when the main character is recovering from some major trauma where they get knocked out, they wake up slowly in the hospital surrounded by family and friends. They smile softly at their family and go back to sleep in the silent building.

That’s a fucking lie.

I snap too in a panic, hyperventilating. I’m not in a hospital, I’m in the break room of what seems to be a police precinct. The female voice who crouched besides me earlier is in front of me, her hands on my shoulders. She’s telling me something.

She looks almost exactly like the bus driver, but she has long black hair in box braids tied into a bun. She’s a very curvy woman and is slightly overweight, but her green eyes   
are comforting. 

“.....id, kid, kid, calm down. Calm down. You’re okay,” she soothes me, rubbing her thumbs over my eyes and I realize I’ve been crying this whole time. “My name is Saya. You’re in our precinct. We took you to the hospital and they splinted that ankle of yours and stitch up your neck and jaw. You’re okay. Can you breathe for me?” I thought Saya would be mad at me, I did murder someone after all. But she stays calm and reassuring as I slowly start to breathe normally. 

Once I’m calm, she smiles softly at me, reading me like a book.

“So, we watched the security footage, and we’ve deemed it self defense,” she explains, moving to sit next to me on the couch. “You’ve been napping for about two hours. We know what she did to your father, but we didn’t catch his name. Is there someone we can call to pick you up?”

“Wait-wait,” I stutter, gaping at her. “I’m-I’m not going to jail? B-But I killed someone--”

“She tried to kill you first, kid. Almost did, actually. We did have to confiscate that gun, though.”

I wave that off, “That’s fine, I hated it anyways.” My brain is still muddled but I thank the lucky stars that I’m a genius and an idea pops into my head. “Actually, you could call my sister. Her name is Emily. Here, I can talk to her if you have a phone…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finley kills her mom and almost dies after her mom tried to slit her throat. She ends up getting arrested but the police deem it self-defense. She calls emily to pick her up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Please leave suggestions/corrections/opinions because it motivates me :D Also this is my first time using ao3 so any advice would be greatly appreciated! Thank you!


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